In this episode, we break down Jean-Claude Van Damme’s performance in JCVD, debating whether he’s an underrated actor or wildly inconsistent. We explore standout moments, messy storytelling, and the gap between action star expectations and real acting chops.
In this episode, we dive deep into JCVD and unpack the complicated legacy of Jean-Claude Van Damme as both an action icon and a serious actor. We ask the big question: is JCVD actually a great actor, or is he just wildly inconsistent?
We start by analyzing Van Damme’s performance, highlighting how he delivers genuinely powerful acting in select moments—particularly in emotionally vulnerable scenes—while struggling to maintain that same level throughout the film. As we discuss, there are flashes where he feels like a “legitimate actor,” followed by moments that feel flat or even amateurish . This “hot and cold” performance becomes a central theme of our conversation.
From there, we explore the film itself—its unstructured storytelling, nonlinear narrative, and meta commentary on Van Damme’s real life. While we appreciate the ambition of blending fiction with autobiography, we ultimately debate whether the film succeeds emotionally. For some of us, it feels like two different movies competing with each other: a grounded personal story and a disconnected crime narrative .
We also discuss how audience expectations shape our experience. When you see a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, you expect action, splits, and high kicks—but JCVD subverts that, offering very little action and instead focusing on introspection. That mismatch creates tension between what we want and what the film is trying to do.
Another key topic is acting philosophy. We debate whether great acting is about transformation (think method actors) or simply playing variations of yourself. This leads to a broader discussion about actors like Van Damme who may excel within a specific range but struggle outside of it.
Welcome to' Never Seen a Podcast, The only podcast called Never Seen It That
is worth listening to with us tonight.
Mr. Arnie, The One Man Party, aka.
Arnold Calago, Mr. Daily Dares, aka.
Filipino Ggio, aka.
Alex Calo the Brothers Calo.
And there's Mr. Milkman America
aka.
Chris joins us tonight with the
only the best and non-alcoholic beers.
I'm assuming that's what those are, right, Chris?
You.
Ooh, what is that?
Is that Alex in a Wes Anderson movie?
I like this.
Where is this from?
I like the beanie.
I like the black and white.
Good stuff.
And then there's me, Boots Too big, a.k.
Adrian Deatore.
Is that from one of those camera booths?
What is that?
That's from one of the Chinese restaurants.
He's not allowed to back in because he didn't pay his bill.
Oh.
He had a suck in a Chinese meal.
Go ahead, Alex.
It's from a photo booth next to my work.
Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff, good stuff.
It tonight.
That's funny.
We did to a Chinese restaurant yesterday and they had a bunch of pictures of
of people who didn't pay and then they were blasting them.
Did not pay, did not pay.
Yeah.
This is democracy manifest.
Have you guys seen that video?
It's so good.
You them?
Oh, I love this year.
What is the charge for having a meal, a succulent Chinese meal?
Oh!
Yeah, I mean, I've only seen that reference, but I haven't That's the part, yeah.
Okay.
Anyway,
tonight we're discussing the 2008 film, JCVD
starring JCVD, Jean-Claude Van Damme.
I didn't know it was starring Jean- Claude Van Damme.
I had to let them tell me 135 times that
it was star Jean-C Claude Van Damme, by the way.'
I think every single time I've talked about this movie,
I talked about that it was JeanClaude Van Damme, and I feel like
I feel kind of slighted that she didn't even
like remember that it was a star in JeanClaude Van Damme.
Every time they said his name, though, if I were to have taken a shot,
I would have gone very, very drunk, probably alcohol poisoning.
But that's fine.
We'll get into all that.
The story is between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife or the custody of his daughter
these are hard times for the action movie star who finds
that even Steven Seagal has pinched a roll from him.
This fictionalized version of Jean-laude Van Damme
returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and
tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States.
Well, you're not alone there, JCVD, but inadvertently
gets involved in a bank robbery with hostages
And was this your movie, Alex or I believe this was your movie?
Okay..
Why did you pick JCVD?
Please have a good reason.
No, I'm just kidding.
Go ahead.
Because it's a good movie.
It's a really good movie.
Unfortunately, like the version he guys got to
see was the dub version.
When I first watched it, like me and all
my other friends who first saw it when they first came out in 2008, loved it.
It was like, we thought it was like the beginning of like a new chapapter for
Jean-Claude Van Damme.
He had like kind of like disappeared into the
background of like Hollywood and just kind of just been doing like a lot of B movies.
and unfortunately, it
kind of led to something later on down the road on Amazon.
It was a TV show called Jean-Claude Vent.
Jean-Claude
Johnson, I think.
Jean-Claude V Johnson, I think that was the name of the show,
which was also like a pretty funny show, pretty like, and
it was kind of like mirroring his life,
but also like a, like a secret agent life type of deal.
But yeah, I, when I first
like throughout this whole podcast, the existence of this podcast,
I I think I' brought it up several times.
And I think I finally was like, let's just do this.
Like I like I really want to show you guys this film.
And unfortunately.
The versions that are easily attainable are
the shitty dubbed version.
It looks like when you watch it, to me, I started watching it.
I was like, wait, why are there lips off?
And I was like, wait, I remember it being like more of like a foreign film
And lo and behold, I was like, wait, I remember it being all in French.
And I kind of.
I wish I wish I was able to like figure that out earlier before
sending you guys the link to the tubi, but whatever.
Yeah, I
was watching it and I forgot that it
was a sort of semi autobiographical
story because he's like in a fight scene.
It opens in a fight scene and there's a moment where you can clearly see
him pulling his punches And I thought that was like, oh, I
thought that was like that's setting the tone for like a very cheap B movie.
But then it reveals really quick that oh, he's filming a movie.
He's it's a movie within a movie
And then I felt dumb.
But let me ask you this, someone who doesn't really know
Jean-Claude Van Damme's career, I've only ever seen Bloodsport for this show, which, by the way, I enjoyed.
I don't know if you remember, that was actually a fun movie to watch.
I remember in the 90s, growing up, like, yeah, like Jean-Claude
Van Damme was like, he was up there with the Steven Seagals of the
world and even like Schwarzenegger and Stallone, but he never really reached
the heights of Schwarzenegger and Stallone seems to
go either, by the way, but we won't get into that.
It's a whole other can of worms.
Why do you think Jean-Claude Ne Van Damme never really reached those heights?
Firstally, I think it was just like how they discuss it.
They talk about it in the film in JCVD.
You get caught up in the Hollywood scene
the drugs and just the lifestyle.
And unfortunately, you kind of,
when you, when that happens, you kind of let other people who don't have really the best
your best interests in mind,
and they start like, you know, taking advantage of the situation.
I mean, it happens a lot.
Look at Stan Lee.
It happened to him at a tail end of, like at the tail end of his life.
He got
shit on and taken for her and all his money.
It was like pretty much almost bankrupt.
But is there something about Jean-Claude Van Damme's personality that maybe didn't lead him to great heights?
Like Schlinger and I think I
think it's because, again, the drugs and alcohol is kind of like..
The drugs not, yeah.
Stallone never did..
I feel like Stallone did drugs back in the day.
They all did.
Come on.
Schwarzeneger, we know he did steroids.'s.
I'm sure they all did cocaine.
Right.
So you mean to tell me that Jean Van Dam, he got into drugs and stuff?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did he mention that in the movie?
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't know.
I felt like.
So, not to get jumped too forward too much, but he
did have that monologue scene, which, by the way, I think it works even in English.
But it was probably the best part of the movie for me, just in in
the sense that he was very vulnerable and open about a lot
of about aspects of his life in that scene.
What is the?
I don't know that it matched the rest of the story, though.
What's that Arno?
The monologue was at the very, very end.most at the of the end.
Right before they extract a.
It's a long monologue, too.
I don't know.
You couldn't imagine it.
It's like a face on.
It's like a full..
Yeah.
It's a full thing.
It looks like.
It felt like a documentary
Yeah.
Stitched into a movie.
Go ahead.
So there's a scene, there's it's that scene where he's like sitting in the post office
and all of a sudden you notice his chair lifting off the ground and it's
like, all of a sudden the background is like the studio lights.
Yeah.
You did watch the movie
just now, like me, right, Arnold?
Because you were saying that in the Discord.
Well, I tried.
What?
I think this is this is Porsche
foreshadowing one of the ratings that this show likes to do.
We're going to have a Z rating and X- rating and a Y rating after this.
Ooh, I can't wait to see the X- rating.
Well now get your mind.
I want to see it.
VD stands for something else.
No, no.
I did.
I do.
I do remember the monologue.
I remember
What's your secret chats say about it?
Yeah.
Yeah, pull up the secret chat really quick.
I will.
I will.
But I feel like I interrupted what one of you guys were saying.
It's about to continue.
We were just talking about, I was just saying that
the monologue scene just felt
kind of like out of place for the
rest of the movie, but maybe I missed something that you guys can explain better.
Because like. the majority of the story is about him and this bank
robbery, which by the way, explain this to me really quick.
Was it a bank or a post office?
Because they kept saying both and I lost track.
So in Europe.
In Europe, you can go to a post office and withdraw money.
Oh, okay.
I was like, wait, are they in a bank or is it two?
They're not in an American post office.
Yeah.
They're an important post office.
You can't withdraw money at the post office in America, but you can only do it once or whatever.
If you going to tell somebody like in France that
you're going to go postal, they wouldn't understand
Right, right.
So, so, okay, so it's a banks.
Because they don't have people like going off in post offices.
They don't
I'm trying to say something about about the Belgium post office, Arnold.
It was Belgium, right?
Did I catch that, right?
At least it wasn't Belgium.
Okay.
Belgium.
Oh, yeah.
They speak French in Belgium?
I thought they spoke something else.
I don't know why. don't know.
They spoke Belg.
I don't know much about Belgium.
They speak Belch, and it's like there's a lot of burping like that.
There you go.
It's like that.
You said, yes,,' influent.
The accent, Chris, on that.
Belgium is great.
Look at that.
Was that hello in Belgium?
Was that what that was?
It's hello and goodbye.
It's like aloha.
Yeah.
No.
No, we're kidding around, but this is this is the story, right?
He's in He's an out of not an out of workout.
He's not out of his work.
He's..
He's going to a
divorce and he's like just taking roles just to make money
Right.
And technically he doesn't have a role wind up, so he is out of work..
He is out of work.
Yeah.
So is John Claude Van Damme trying to tell
us a story about his real life in a sense?
Like, I know that may seem obvious, but.
Okay, so was that the goal?
Was that the emot?
What's the emotional horror of the story?
I The reason why I. Okay, I remember.
I remember now why I brought this up.
I wanted to watch this movie because it's because
we talked about like the
parallels between Dwayne Johnson and Batista
and their reasons to getting into movies.
And
how, and then we talked about the in
the Oscar discussion, we talked about the smashing machine, right?
And then how Dwayne Johnson took
on this role finally because he was like, you
know, he thought he started losing value
in his films because he was
doing, taking these roles that just every film just sucked and
they were bombing in the theaters and he was like, this is time for me to like really step up.
And I feel like he's Jean-Cude Van Damme with this particular movie, like this is
him, like trying to do something different.
And I think that it speaks to the larger issue of like, if you're
a male action star in Hollywood, you only have so much shelf life.
Like, you can do action for so long before
Hollywood is going to be like, okay, what else do you have?
Because it's getting kind of old.
And yeah, you have your Jason Statums of the world that can kind of do the same thing over and over and over and over.
Tom Cruise.
Well, but see, Tom Cruise can actually act.
That's the thing.
And you see Dave Bautista, he does the more subtle,
the more acting forward roles, and he's more known for that
and respected for that than even like someone like The Rock.
Who is highly successful in what he does?
Don't get me wrong.
But
I feel like the Smashing Machine going back to that movie, it's like
kind of like his Hail Mary, it almost seems like this is my like one
shot left at like showing, I'm not just a big brute.
I'm not just a charming action star.
I can also actually dig in and act.
And I feel like, is that sort of the same with JCVD?
Like he's like to show the world like, I do more.
I think that's what it was.
Like this was his attempt at like showing more of his range.
And with that monologue that we kind of discuss is
like, you show a lot, you see a lot of his range, especially,
like when you watch it in the original intended
French, like version, it's it's him not having to translate.
Because like, you know how it is?
It's different when you're able to
act in your own language, when
your first language, then it is when you're like
trying to, because a lot of times like the way when you're
learn, when you learn a new language, you're kind of like talking through
you're translating from French into into your new language.
And it's like there's somewhat of a disconnect.
And when, when you're trying to
communicate things, you know, like there's like this like sort of like kind of like hiccup
when it comes to the actual
communication of like what you're trying to put across
Arnold.
I mean, you know, you grew up with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
You like Jean-Claude Van Damme.
I believe Bloodsport was your movie.
You just watched this movie for the first time, I'm thinking, right?
I got the Bloodsp shirt.
There you go.
Yeah.
This was your first time viewing, yeah, what are your, what's your initial reaction?
I mean, as a JohnGlude Van Damme, you know fan
what do we think?
Yes, it was my first time ever seen this.
And I don't know.
I'm willing to give it another shot, like you were saying,
Alex, with the original intended version.
I mean, the
dubs version, it didn't really bother me.
Maybe it's because I' I'm used to watching movies like
that growing up, but I I felt disappointed.
Maybe, but perhaps it's also my part, too.
I think maybe you guys are kind
of picking up a little bit that I may have dozed off a little bit on some parts.
But I totally I totally do remember the monologue with the chair
raising and you see like the studio lights in the back
It was like towards the end.
Well, hold on.
Let me ask you this really quick, Arnold. not to interrup. sorry.
How many John Claud Van Dan movies have you you seen most of his catalog of movies?
Have you seen just some of them.
How many would you say?
There's a Bloodsport, then there's Bloodsport and Bloodsport.
Bloodsport kickboxer.
I walked right into that one.
I watched a handful of them.
But I like the old school ones, the OG ones.
My favorite one is Blood Sport.
Which one?
Which one?
Yeah.
Hold on.
Bloodsport with Jean Claude.
Van Damme, right?
Just to be clear.
Yes, yes.
Was there anything about this movie that made you, was
there anything about this movie where you're like, oh, JCBD's back, baby?
Or was it more like, what is this?
My favorite part was how it started.
I was like, ooh, action.
Because
you know, that's when I think of a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie,
that's, what I think about.
Fighting, action fair.
His high kicks, some splits.
you know, he's he he always
wears that certain type of tank top where it's like, you
know, spaghetti strap?
The spaghetti straps?
Yeah, I don't That's a little sports drop.
He's the only one that can pull it off.
I don't know.
Clark could do it.
Oh, yeah.
C Clark can't do it.
Not the one.
There's only a select few people.
Only select few.
Yeah, yeah.
Arnold.
Arnold, I want to see you do that the next time we go to Comic-Con.
Yeah.
What, Joseph as Jean-Cude Van Damme wearing the spaghetti strap tank top.
Yeah, there you go, Arnold.
White.
What's his p podcast reading?
It just splits.
Get your splits going. this podcast rated?
Explicit, I hope.
Okay, good.
Yeah, Arnold, just wear it for the next episode.
Yeah..
Well, I was.
Here's the thing too.
I wanted to bring that up.
I think that's what Arnold brings up is, is
a kind of an important thing.
It's, we walk into the things.
Everybody does this.
We walk into like, like every kind
of art form, every kind of thing that we consume with like preconceived notions and prejudices
towards the everything about the film.
We could see Jean-Claude Van Damme, right?
And we expect a spurt certain thing.
And when you, when you do that, I think that that kind of, um,
yeah, it does set you up for disappointment if you don't get what you want, right?
But at the same time, if
we allow ourselves to just kind of like be okay with whatever
we get, you know, like I think like be open to
the, being surprised by these artists.
Because I think that's what for me it is.
It's like for me, I love when a band, say
a band, they you're accustomed to the a
certain style that they do, and then they're next album is like way different.
You see that with like Radiohead.
You see that with like so many other bands
but like each album sounds different.
There's another band called 90 Day Man.
Men that I really, really loved.
But their first album is way different and
more guitar based versus like their final album, which was like
very heavily piano-based.
And their time signatures were different in their thing.
It was really, really, really cool.
It sounds like what you're saying is that when you are creative, when you're an artist, you have to like
have a balance of, how can I do something new and sort of experimental, but also something that.
Well, please the crowd, right?
I'm not even just, I'm not even saying the artist per se.
I'm saying the people who are consuming the art.
We need to be open to that sort of expectation.
We've got to like, I think it's it's better for us to be open to
being surprised by certain things.
And it allows us to not be disappointed.
Like, to be pleasantly surprised by things, even if
we don't like it as much as the other stuff, the older stuff,
the stuff that we were accustomed to, I think it's.
I think that's the thing too.
Like you look at like Marvel films, right?
Like we, how many times can we see the same Marvel film?
Wouldn't they cool if they changed it up?
Right.
That's why I like Logan a lot because Logan was so different from the rest of the mainline movies.
Sorry, Chris.
Go ahead.
No, you're good.
I think, I'm going
to do my absolute best to stay objective and
no, nice about this.
But to stick to that point of like,
a band switching up their like sound, this kind of felt like I
go to see that band to do something very specific.
And they hit they keep producing
hit after hit after hit, and then they change it up.
And then they wonder why their last album sucked.
And then there's tickets slow down.
Like, because
I look at his JCVD.
I, sadly, have not seen a single one of his films until now.
So I didn't go into this movie with an expectation.
I was just like, let's see what we get.
And at first I was like, God, this fighting is terrible.
Like
I was thinking, like, oh, cool, they're doing a one shot.
And then like halfway through the scene, I was like, oh, like guys are
kind of like flying everywhere of like, what
is cheesy stuff is going on.
And then obviously the whole thing is that they're filming.
And I was like, oh, that's good.
I like that.
That like it explains it all away.
I'm like, okay, let's see where this is going.
And
so that honestly, it made me a little excited.
And then after that, it was such a, um, in
my opinion, like a stark contrast, it was
almost like saying like to your point, um, this is what you're used to seeing.
This is not that movie.
Right.
We are going, we're getting a deep dive into this actor
and it's like a hyper
realism type dealio where we kind of
like take real aspects of his life and then put it under a
microscope and then embellish some of the things that make it a fun movie.
Yeah.
And so it was just, it was a little tough for me to follow.
I watched it in first and
then I watched to your point, I was like, you know what?
Maybe I'll try the French out.
And so I did.
And to your point, like it added a little bit of
an edge to it that I was like, oh, these lines are believable now
um, at least from the supporting cast.
Because like JCVD
kind of speaks in English a few times throughout the movie.
But it was it was just really interesting.
And it was kind of messy, though.
A lot of it was kind of messy.
I don't know where that comes from.
I don't know if it's the director.
I don't know if it's like JCVD going to the director and like, no, this is what I want to do.
I want to do a time sequence and I want to look like this or like
who's making the stylistic choices on it.
But it was it almost had like a little bit of everything
and I felt like it kind of lost itself
in itself. if that makes sense.
It makes perfect sense.
Because it left me confused as the
audience member of like, what do you you want me to like believe?
Like, where's the story here?
Because like I feel like there's like three or four different like narratives you could choose to follow.
And they really only close one up with that beautiful monologue.
And it's like, oh shit, this guy can really act.
I was like, where's this b from everyone in the cast?
So it's it's kind of sad.
I think it's a lot of the, like, like the fourth wall breaking.
Especially
like, I don't think they explicit.
in most of the movie, they break the fourth wall, but I don't think they explicitly
break it in the way that they didn't in the monologue.
Yeah.
I think if you're a fan of Jean-Claude Van Damme,
you are able to, you can see how they break the fourth wall.
and like kind of like are winking at the fans like, hey,
this is this is his life and this is who he is.
You even see your, like if you're a fan of Jean-C Van Damme, you see
those two guys in the video store watching action films and
they they talk about like how action stars
aren't the same, but then you got, he sees Jean-Coude Van
walk past the store and they're chasing him down because he's like a national treasurer.
He's like, oh my gosh, it'sanquis Van Damme.
He's like, he's their hero.
And so like, if it was like us as a fan
like you can see yourself in that. and they're kind of like winking
at us like saying like, oh, hey, this is you.
Oh I'm kind of surprised that Van Damme hasn't had a
resurgence in in the action genre in movie.
I think he was in some of the Expendables movies, right?
I believe.
Yeah, I was he was.
But like, outside of that, like
like, Netflix is still, like, making action movies as well.
I'm I'm surprised he hasn't had like some kind of deal with them.
Because Netflix seems like a good home for him.
Because they'll make anything.
They'll hire anyone and make anything.
I feel at this point.
They do fighting Hallmark movies.
Street Fighter Hallmark style.
Now that's..
Jingle bells, jingle bells.le bells.
Here's the thing though.
I think what they do, though, is they
do talk about how his health was failing.
He's like, he w he wished he had his health back.
And I think that's what he's like going through.
Don't quote me on this, but I do think he has some health issues now
because of, yeah.
I said, don't quote me on this.
Don't quote.
Oh, sorry.
It cut out when he said don't, so I was taking the best notes I could.
Sorry..
I have to.
Oh, go ahead,ld.
Go ahead on.
He's still kind of ripped.
This isn in 2008, though.
Well, yeah, it was, exactly.
This is in 2008?
Yeah, this is like this is almost 20 years old.
Yeah.
He was 47.
Oh, yeah.
And he was actually 47 then.
Oh, Oh, shit.
Yeah.
So I's.
That opening scene when he's talking to
the foreign director, and there's like the translator going between
him and the director who's blowing
him off, I guess, because that was a one take,
that that was like sort of like an improv type of.
I was just reading that
thing where he was like legitimateimately like spewing
like his frustrations with like being older and having to do these types of shots.
Yeah.
So it was almost like cathartic for him, which is what this whole like movie was.
It was just like a cathartic way for him to process his life and where his career was at.
Yeah.
If you think about it now, he's like 65 at this point.
65.
He's 67.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's nearing.
He's four years away from the perfect age.
I didn't did the mat in my head for that one.
Thanks, Arnold.
wait a minute.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I was going to say really quick, I respect Van
Damme for playing a vulnerable guy because like, I feel like someone, you guys are still counting.
I feel like someone in his in someone in his background, his
experience in this industry, it's not always easy for these guys to be vulnerable.
Like, they have to be bigger than God
Like, The Rock, for every movie before he did
the smashing machine, the rule was, I can't lose to a bad guy ever.
I can't lose a fight.
Like, wasn't that his contractually obligated rule.
And then he does the smashing machine, and even though that movie has its
problems, I think, I respect the fact that he was willing to be vulnerable.
And I think Jean-Cude Van Damme has done that in this movie.
I don't even know that Schwarzenger has done that.
I mean, he's had some movies where he breaks down and stuff, but, I know
that Schwarzener has done a movie where he was really that vulnerable.
What's that, Chris?
Jingle Bells, I think.
Jingle jingle the way, yeah.
Very vulnerable and jingle away.
I guess when you're feeling
inferior to Phil Hartman, although, who wouldn't feel inferior to Phil Harton?
He was amazing.
But like, I respect that aspect of it.
Also, I really liked
this movie came out in 2008, but it felt very 90s.
Like the music felt kind of 90s, the way it was shot, felt very 90s.
The color grading was a little too much for me at times, I
feel like when they were color grading this movie, they were like, let's put a green tint, let's
put a yellow tint in this scene, let's put a whatever tint in this scene.
And I'm like, that's that's so indicative of like the early 2000s.
Yeah, I didn't like, I didn't like it either.
I didn't like it either.
And I don't even, do we know, was this even shot on film?
Because it didn't look like it was shot on film.
It looked like it was shot on like early
cinema digital cameras.
I think it was digital.
I. I had a lot of Siberian film like by.
I was thinking thing, did you the style?
Yeah, no, you're right.
You're right.
I don't know.
I was thinking, I'm glad you said it because I was thinking Siberian film has a similar look, right?
Yeah.
Like I think Zack Snyder the video stuff, though.
You know, I think in the fact that it was like shot on video
It's kind of dark.
Si Sibeberian film, like was shot on video.
And so like you had that kind of weird film?
JCBD.
It was shot on film.
Oh, wow.
Oh, you.
If you watch the YouTube video, of
the monologue that I set you guys, it's the quality
of that video is like really, really good.
If I only watched that monologue, I would have rated it higher.
You think so?
If it was just the mon.
I would give it the benefit of the.
But you did watch the monologue, so I should watch on the video.
Oh, just the video.
Yeah, like if I didn't watch the movie, and I was
only given the monologue, I'd be like, this guy's
got acting chops, and I believe that movie's good.
Yeah.
And then you watch the rest of it.
But you watch it within the context of the rest of the movie, and you're like, oh, no.
It doesn't fit, man.
It feels like two different films.
I agree.
Literally, the opening scene and the monologue, if you
if you gave me those pieces and you said, connect the dots on these, I think a better movie lives there.
A better movie lives within that reality, if that makes sense.
But we throw so much into the melting pot of trying to like understand
and like do some cool things like they
did like dream sequence at one point where it's like it
had like this like film effect going like between the
um like like real time, which wasn't real time because
they're going to go back in time to readress the post office bank
But jumping into his lawyer thing, like they did
like the classic like, like at one point.
And it like took me out.
I was like cracking up at the screen.
I was like, what is this?
Well, I think I have an answer as to why it feels disjointed, because apparently,
about 30% of of this movie was improvised.
70% of the script was written. 30% was improvised by the actors, including Van Damme.
Examples include the taxi seems completely improvised.
The director told Van Damme only to be nice to the
driver no matter what she says.
And then also where Van Damme he had lips and parts in the opening sequence up.
We talked about that.
So, yeah, so good chunk of this.
I like the taxi scene was great.
I thought that was really endearing.
And that was improvised.
So how about that?
How about that?
I don't know what to think about this movie.
You mustnate.
I think, for a little bit.
I think it gradually, to me, at least, it
gradually changes, like pushes it forward more into like fourth wall breaking, right?
And like the monologue was the actual like breaking
point of like, he's like, this is me.
This is like, because like, like you said, this is him improvising,
but he's having to improvise from his whole life.
Like he's using his past experiences and everything like that
in order to tell this story.
And like, kind of like how we just recently watched a movie.
Oh yeah.
In an Empire.
It's like one of that thing where he didn't he wrote the
pieces of the script and it took him three years to finish for that film.
But he like they filmed every day with the new script.
And none of the cast knew what was going on
but it kind of made started to make sense as time went
on, like at least to David Lynch.
And I think that's the same thing with this.
Like it's almost that Lynchian sort of like, like In the Empire
model, even though, like, I think this and
in the Empire came out around the same time.
And I kind of like, like, like, if you think about it, it's kind of
that sort of, um, what do you call it, um,
So it's like, what's the stream of consciousness?
Yeah.
I I feel like that's what were trying to do.
It was like a stream of consciousness.
That was the goal..
Or the intent, at least.
Yeah.
And like, I think that's what, like they had the intent, like, I'm
pretty sure they probably had that kind of skeleton where
it pushed it more and more into the fourth wall breaking and then
the ending happens and you see like both different endings, right?
You see, like a heroo ending and then him like actually the reality.
And I think I like, I like that like what he said was like,
like his whole life was him getting the answers first and then the questions later.
He was like, he says that Yeah, that
is life in a nutshell, I think, in a lot of ways, right?
You get the answers later.
Unfortunately, sometimes when it's too late
on certain things, you know?
Yeah.
So, I can appreciate that.
By the way, Krista Boz joins us in the chat.
He says he wants, again, he did not get an invite.
Who knows Krista Boz?
I feel like he's friends with one of you guys.
Okay.
is this from you guys's work and stuff?
Uh-huh Yeah, let's get him on.
Let's get him on.
Well, let him pick the movie, by the way.
And And there's his wife, the Decu princess.
The DQ princess?
That's Yeah, and Chris.
Well, welcome..
HOP did tell me he was going to be on a little late because he's, I don't know what he's doing, but he's going to be on late.
So HOP will be here.
Rest assured, folks.
We will have HHOP.
Cool, cool, cool.
Arnold, so tell me this.
What was the best emotional the moment in this movie be for you?
What stood out to you the most on an emotional level?
Never mind all the plot stuff and the bank robbing and blah, blah, blah.
Tell me what what really grabbed you
right here.
Oh, what really grabbed me was the
part where they're like sitting in court and then the daughter was like,
uh, oh, yeah, I don't I don't want to be with him.
Like, I don't want to stay with my mom.
And then they're like asking why
And and he's like, or she's
like, um the kids in school make fun of me.
I don't know.
And then, but he didn't really seem to, he
just kind of had like this look like..
That's a good choiceoice.
I did like that moment a lot.
I felt that.
I felt that in my heart too, because having a kid
having kids, children in general, when they get put,
especially when they get put in a position like that where they have to be, they have to say
the truth in front of a scary crowd of people in the courtroom.
Yeah, that was a good one.
That was a really good one.
At the very end..
It was an empty courtroom.
Was itt empty?
Oh, whatever..
There was not a single person the side.
John P Van Damme, the lawyer that was going after him, who also sucked.
Yeah.
And the judge.
It was not an empty courtroom.
You're under oath
and in, you know, testifying for whoever's there.
Testicular?
Oh, JC was there.
Jesus Christ.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah. you ever been in a courtroom Arnold?
I have.
For anything?
For jury duty.
Come on, Arnold.
Come on, Arnold.
I love You know something
where I'm looking right in the camera.
I'm looking straight into the camera.
No lie. gone through those high school days.
It was only jury duty, okay?
Oh, man.
Arno Fewett standup, by the way.
You're one of the funniest guys I know.
Preach..
We don't say that enough.
No, I'm not, man.
I' To Arnold's point, though, I I think the whole
thing of like being embarrassed by like by your parents is a real thing.
You know what I mean?
Like, when we're younger, we like
are like things our parents do.
When we do see things like our parents do, and it's like, oh my gosh, right?
Like, but that's to like a certain degree, like like
a larger degree that your parents are famous, right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
Killing people.
Killing.
Well, I wonder if that's why a lot of celebrity
children go into acting just because they're like, well, I
saw them make a fool of themselves for so many years, I might as well take a crack at it because I think I'm better than them.
You think there's something to that?
Like, maybe they're trying to one-up their parents.
Do you think that think Wyatt Russell is one of Kurt
acting like a goof?
Sure.
I have a shoe.
I got an easy way in.
Yeah. family business.
Come on.
It's a family business, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's good nep baby.
It's the only thing I learned growing up.
How to act.
Guess I'll do it.
Chris, I could see you as a comedian, real talk or an actor.
One or both.
You have a very, I don't know, you have like a certain aura.
Doesn't anyone ever ever telling you that you have a certain aura
of like an entertaining..
There's the light.
That's the light that gives you the aura.
But yeah, like, have you ever thought
about that working in the creative arts space, the performative arts space?
Performative arts?
Performing arts?
Yeah.
But not performative.
It's performing.
Have you performed on camera?
I have.
A lot of green couches, a couple red ones.
Oh, a couple of.
A few black ones, leather.
Do some of my best work there.
Yeah.
Well, Jean Claude Dan Dam. certainly has performed a lot.
I've only seen one other movie besides this one.
But what else?
Let's see.
I was reading some fun facts about it, and I like this one.
The director had one rule for Van Damme.
He could't he was not allowed to yell cut, ever.
Because apparently that was something he was doing on his past, he's done in his past movies.
And this one, he said, no, you're not allowed to yell cut.
You have to just keep going with it.
And that's the only rule that he had for him.
Do you think that manifested in any way in the movie?
Do you think that there was room for Van Damme to try and show off his acting chops?
Anybody?
I'm putting this off to the room, by the way.
Arnold, I feel like you want to say something.
What was the catching?
Quest again?
Sorry.
The question was, did you feel like Van Damme
was really trying to express his acting ability throughout the film?
Yeah, absolutely.
At I'm sure.
I got to give it a
second watch, to be honest.
Oh, I's the first thing you said that legitimately.
I think legitimately, there are three
or four times where JCVD is doing
his absolute best acting that he can produce.
And it's like really good when he's doing it.
The other times, I don't know if it's a phone in, if
he's like, he, like if it's too much to like be
in that headspace for JCVD, but when he loses it, it becomes cheap
acting really quick.
And I don't know why, because like you see him in some scenes
and you're like, wow, dude, this guy's legitimately an acting individual.
He can do it.
He's a performer through and through.
He's an entertainer.
And then other times I'm like, this dude convinced
me that he's only a stunt double and they gave him lines.
Like It's such a hot and cold with this guy.
Let me ask you this, Chris.
Do you think that we mythologize acting too much?
Do you think that like there's not as much to it as people make it seem?
Because some of the greatest actors will tell you, all I do is I memorize my lines.
I show up on set.
I say my lines and I go home.
But then you have your Daniel DayLewises of the world that, no,
you must call me Abraham Lincoln and you must send me any
communications via via mule
Like, what do you think?
I think there's two things.
There are individuals who they themselves are
unique and have like their whatever, their lane, right?
And it's like that person
acts as themselves with different flavors of themselves.
So like, um, imagine me
like all the way 110% goofy, like crazy wild ball.
And if you like add a little scary to it, but you keep the main core
of it, I'm not necessarily going outside of my creative zone.
I'm just like tweaking my personality enhancing it and going in scary.
I'm going in over the top goofball.
I'm going in earnestly and I'm not trying to go over the top
So like, and those people get cast in the same roles
or like stereotypical roles.
Shia LaBeouf.
Shia LaBouf, right?
He plays different versions of himself.
He does't play anyone else besides Shia LaBouf.
If you see him in the French quarter, just stay away, please.
Yeah.
No, I love that, Chris.
He's passed correctly.
He does a great job because he's good at being Shia LaBef.
Yeah.
Like, he was a good.
He's just being a piece of shit.
That also.
Well, and that's the thing, right?
You can be a piece of shit in real life and be a great fucking actor.
Like, don't.
Z is one is a piece of shit.
And you are a piece of shit.
You're going to do masterful work.
Wait, I don't know why he's a POS.
Oh, he he used to date me a guy.
He's a point of sale?
Yeah,
Yeah.
He only takes strife, Arnold.
That's the problem.
He doesn't take the square.
No.
He dated meagoth and he beat her and stuff.
All this stuff has come out about him.
I saw I saw some.
Did you you see some video that I'm not sure what
if it was in relation to a film,
but but he actually be like joined a gang.
Like some I wouldn't be heard about that surp.
I wouldn't Shia LaBouf.
That sounds like That's very Shia LaBef coded.
But what you said, Chris, I really, I really love that.
I agree 100%.
Yeah, and the second part of that is like someone like Heath Ledger, right?
Someone who's like, you kind of go like, I don't know if he's a good actor.
He's just like a teen heartthrob.
Right, right, right.
And then we obviously we got Dark Knight and all that kind of jazz,
but like he spent so much time getting into character for that.
You see other people who are that good, like Daniel Day Lewis, who like
truly immerse themselves and produce great stuff.
So like that's oversimplifying it, but that's essentially the two things that..
That's a good point.
Ian McKellen once said one of my favorite things about acting,
he said, the acting I do for free, they pay me to wait.
So it's like, that's such a great way to put it.
It's like, I do the acting because I love it.
What they're really paying for me paying me for is just to wait around on set.
And, and then like Eony Hopkins and like other, these other great British.
It's always British
They're the ones that say, like, yeah, like, I just show up, I say my lines, and that's it.
Like, but I think those guys are so naturally talented that they can get away with saying that, right??
Like, how any Hopkins, he can do exactly what you were saying.
He He can be terrifying and he can also be sweet.
He can also be just like Thor's change..
What's that?
Thor's daddy?
Thor's.
Yeah, exactly.
He could be, yeah, Thor's daddy.
Kind of like, you, it'd be like if Kobe Bry was like, you just have to spend an extra 30 minutes on the court.
It's like, okay, yeah, but you're also like God given talent.
Right, right.
Like your worst is going to be like Olympic status regardless.
Yeah..
That's a great point.
I don'tld, I feel like you wanted to say something about about acting as well.
No, I was going to make a make
it funny and it't it wasn't going to be good.
Shoot it.
Shoot it, Danny.
Okay.
So it was the part where you're saying about like actors, you know, how they about waiting.
And I was just going to say they're like, oh, yeah, I know, a lot of them.
That also, they're waiters at restaurants too.
Yeah, that's true.
Why?
We saw a lot of actors this weekend
at the set, the 53rd annual set Seturn Awards.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
That was fun.
It was fun.
It was an interesting scene.
It's always amazing to me when you see someone in real life and you're like, they're way shorter than I thought they were.
I forget who it was.
I saw somebody.
I was like, oh wow, they're so short.
But then I saw Paul Bettany.
I'm like, oh, Mr. Bettany, how you doing, sir?
Like he was the guy who was a gentle giant, right?
I mean, he was he was a tall guy.
Alex, you were there with him, you saw saw Paul Benny.
Yeah.
Doug Jones was, I like from what we what we do in the shadows
I knew he was tall, but like, yeah, he's so tall in real life.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Tall and long.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, super lanky.
This guy is like so lanky.
Very lanky.
Lanky.
I know like are just hanging like they're like long
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Arnold's saw some limbs.
Chris Hardwick.
He's He's like same height as me.
We're both six foot.
Oh, yeah, I didn't see him. in person, but I know that he was there that night, right?
Wasn't he presenting or something?
He did something, right?
on stage?
I think so.
Yeah, I'm not quite sure.
I was like two feet away from Chris Hardwick and Rhea
Sorn, and I was doing the chimes, trying to tell him, okay, let's go inside.
It's time for dinner.
He's banked him a little.
He's sang in.
This film's considered unique.
It's compared to other meta celebrity movies like Bean
John Malkovich, Birdman, The Unbearable Weight of massive
Talent, which I did not see, but I have seen Birdman and I't.
That was really good.
I need to see it.
Being John Malkmovich is great.
Where would you guys rank if you guys have seen any of these?
Where would you guys rank JCVD?
Wally, was in those movies
Yeah.
No, he was not.
Jee's Arnold.
Did you say Arnold?
Oh, he He was that was saying that he was
thinking that that John Claude Van Damme was in all those movies.
No, no, no, no.
No.
No, that would be interesting.
No, but go ahead, Alex.
I feel like your attention span, Arnold..
Sorry.
Your attention span is like really bad
after watching this series I like, you know what just happened?
You're Adam Scott in that scene in Stepbrother where,
what's his name asked him a question and then Adam Scott's like, yeah
Oh, I'm sorry.
I lost my train of thought.
I was like, damn it, Dale!
They get mad at it.m sorry.
That's pretty much.
What's going on?
My dog he came over here and he was like licking my arm out like, what's going on?
Well, that's cool.
Sorry.
Now you're all wet.
That's cool, Arnold.
Yeah.
Arld's always.
His panties are always wet., my arm.
Are you wearing panties now?
Oh,
you were saying Alex?
Yeah, I' Yeah, okay.
I haven't seen all of them.
I'd put it at the bottom, though.
This was bad.
Krista Bz is saying, great movie you're
talking you're talking about creeper the tax collector,
more talented to be able to turn on and off the acting and give a great performance
and have to go full method to get your point across.
That's a good point, Chris. pause.
I think that on the show.
Personally, I think being John Malkovish is like the top tier.
That is like I love movie the best of all that movies.
Not good man.
I think that's..
And then The Bird.
I haven't't seen Birdman.
Bird at all.s Bird.
I don't know that that one's really a meta commentary and might, well, I guess it kind of actually, yeah, kind of is.
Never mind.
I don't, Alex.
I would kind of say, like, of ones I've seen is the bear bullweight
is like that right under being John Malkovich.
And then, I don't know, John JCBD is a good one.
For me, I think it's..
I don't know.
Maybe it's it's the rose-colored lens effect,
you know, like I was watching it before.
But I have I had good memories of
watching it from back then and when I rewatched it, I still enjoyed it the same way.
Yeah.
And we should remind people that there's nothing wrong with enjoying
a movie no matter what anybody thinks about it.
Like, my opinion is my opinion and Chris is Chris, yours is yours.
Like, believe me, we all our, we all have movies or shows
that like we've we've done Hud and Hawk on this show, which I loved.
I thought Hudson Hawk was a fucking hilarious movie
with Bruce Willis.
And apparently, like, that wasn't really well received when it came out.
And even to this day, people think it's a bad movie, but it's like, I love that was I enjoyed it was Billy Madison.
I think it was a fine movie.
I thought it was a fine movie.
Well, see, there you go.
We all experience movies differently, and then that's the beauty of doing this show.
Billy Madison is one of my favorite movies, but like,
I know that is not any one's cup of tea.
Right.
But it's like the top tier Adam Sandler movie for me.
And Adam Sandler in and of himself is already a difficult, like
his own category.
And would you say it's great acting?
I would say no.
And that's probably be considered peak Adam Sandler,
Unlike Little Nickki, which is considered a little bit more not as
considered as high up there as his other movies, I would think, right?
Like even people have seen Little Nickki, so it's like really
tough because like not a lot of people are like comparatively
speaking, Billy Madison isn't like one of his top movies people have seen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
I feel like it's like the peak was
Waterboy, but like he started getting attention,
like a lot more attention from H Gilmore..
Chris's point, Billy Madison was where it all started.
I think it's kind of
his launching point as far as films go..
That wasn't his first film.
It was airheads.
Air.heads was.
Yeah.
I need to rewatch Airheads.
That was the thing that like put him on the spot.
Yeah.
That was Steve Buscemi and Adam Sandler, right?
And it was that role was supposed to go to someone else.
I can't remember
who it was, but they fell out and then he was like the substitute.
What's this big break?
It big break.
Oh, man.
I'm looking for my back break.
I mean, big break.
I was a little tongue twist.
Lorn Michaels is also a kingmaker because
he's made the careers of so many so many actors, mostly comedic actors.
I like Adam Sandler, but even like you Kristen Wiggs of the world who
are doing more, I guess, dramatic pieces and stuff, and not just comedy.
Like, you got to hand it to Lauren Michaels that he's really made a lot of careers.
I don't know who made John K Claude Van Damme's career.
I don't know how he got started.
Does anybody know the lore of how he broke in at all?
Have you seen that video of him dancing?
It was like
at kickbox like a meme.
No.
Well, I think Bloodsport was like his first big role.
Kickboxer come came later on.
To me, it is.
What, Kickboxer is your number one?
Oh, no, no, Bloodsport.
Bloodsport is my favorite.
Yeah.
Well, no, Bloodsport, I think was his very first one, too.
Like his first starring role. main actor. with
a built-in Mentos commercial in it
Yeah, pretty much.
B loves art in the chat?
Is that art Amber?
Yeah I don't know.
I think so, though.
Yeah, because she's's calling you Arnie.
I think only she calls calls you Arnie, so that is Amber.
I told her we were streaming so she could join us in the chat.
And there she is.
Shout out to that Denver girl in the chat.
Shout out to Chris.
And the DQ Princess 01, I believe you guys all know
these guys in the chat.
Hopefully at some point, J JCBD.
Hopefully at some point, HLP joins us as well and
gives us his late take on on what he thinks.
Arnold, let me ask you a question really quick.
By the way, you missed your 30 minute mark, Arnold.
What the hell are we doing?
What' What's going on?
We're sleeping on the job.
Jeez, this movie has done a little on you right now.
You're always stiff, Arnold..
He broke He broke something.
Carl get out of you.
Did Arnold break something?
Something sticks, something stiff.
Yes.
Sounds like some sword fighting.
What was that big black thing in your hand?
I couldn't really see.
It was It was a big little stick..
Oh, anyways, Why is it taking so long to get to that?
Jeez.
Because I just really, really sorry.
Sorry, I really want to get a good's get some good lighting on there.
Yeah.
This is what really makes the show, by the way, this part right here.
For audio audience.
Especially.
Thank you thank you for listening and watching with your ears.
Yeah.
Well, Arnold Arnold needs to attach bells to his hips?
Yeah.
That way
Dude, yes.
I think Arnold wears the same pair of blue shorts every
episode because I've seen those blue shorts before.
Yeah, they're These are slightly g.
They're probably g.
They're pretty crusty.
Oh, let me ask you a question.
Uh-huh.
If Jean-Claude Van Damme ascends above the set during the monologue, does that make the film technically a tri?
transcendental autobiography, or is it just the first recorded instance
of method acting achieving literal levitation?
That sounds like a question that you would ask somebody on Hot Wings
or hot ones, especially me.
What's say you my mouth will be burning and I would be like,
Milk, ice cream.
Milkman America's here to serve.
You would ask that question and I'd just be like, begging for ice cream.
Ice cream.
Let me ask you a better question. question, Arnold.
If someone made a movie about your life, what would be
a required set piece in that movie?
What moment from your life would have to be in it?
What's a must-have?
Well, Tom Cruise would have to play him?
Well, obviously.
That's without..
Yeah, that goes without saying, Chris..
Because you need you need liber hips to be able to do that.
I don't think that Tom Cruise could get the hip shape down.
I feel like he doesn't.
Is it because Tom Cruise.
Did you see him in Tropic Thunder?
Oh, that'
Are you saying that I'd have to have a very clean bathroom?
Okay, wait, that's like a...
I don't know what?
That's a Saturn Awards inside joke.
Get it, guys, who are at the Saturn Awards?
Yeah, yeah.
Ring around the Rosie, pockets full of Pie, Arnold.
You know what I'm saying?
Get it because Saturn has rings around it.
Adam's a good one.
Terry Cruz is Arnold.
Would you say one, one object?
That would be.
No, no, no.
What's a moment from your life that it would have to be in the script?
What's an Arnold core memory that you
like, if you're talking to thereter you're like, no, this has to go in.
Just one moment.
Deer in headlights.
Arnold.
No, no, no.
Okay.
Okay.
How I am, how I am as Arnie now,
is I was not like this
in high school.
That's part of your character,.
Would you agree with this, Alex?
During high school, I was...
I really feel like I was a lot more of a quiet person.
I didn't really talk very much.
I wasn't very social.
I was a big old pothead.
I knew a lot of people, but in terms of like being
being socialx or
Steveo would have to play you as like a younger.
Arnold, I think you're just selling yourself short, to be honest.
I think.
Yeah, think taller.' called.
Arnie the One Man Party for a reason.
Yeah.
Back in high school.
Okay, maybe.
Kyle LeBouf would have to play you, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.
What
What is the origin story for Arnie?
nie the one in that party?
I thought that was something you just made up, but there's an origin.
There's some lore we're not getting.
I don't think I've heard this.
Unlock some Arnold lore on this episode, Arnold.
Well, it turned out that Arnie, Arnie, Arnie.
I was the only one who wanted to like party.
And her I am.
I was like in high school and like,
I don't know if everyone else was just like can hang.
I don't know, but.
Or maybe they didn't they didn't have the stuff on ball or
they were have fun.
Yeah.
Crystal Bo says, I love this buddy. the way.
An Edgar Wright style montage of you winning radio tickets.
I would love to see that.
Yes, Christab Boz, let's write this script, my friend.
And Amber says, Arnold, a core memory
would be Arnold listening to Alex talk about the Crow as a 13-year-old.
I think that could also fit well into the script somewhere.
These are great ideas, Ch.
HLP easier.
Arnold and I were huge fans of the
crow, like equally.
You guys were the gruesome twosome.
The gruesome.ome.
I think I showed Arnold the Crow way too young.
Way too early age.
Yeah.
No, actually, I think you were doing them a favor, and honestly, in a way,
I think kids should be exposed to good cinema at any early age.
So, yeah, that's part of Arnold's core memories, I think, right?
Because you guys have fond memories of that, I'm sure, right, Arnold?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I do.
Yeah.
The ones he remembers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But
I do have to say that to
try and think of like a moment in my life that
was sort of like a moment that what was the question again?
I was like Oh, I'm.
I'm sorry.
I'm I't have one cup of coffee today.
It doesn't matter.
That was good.
That's our show, guys.
Good night.
Yeah, that's My stage original answer when I thought was like
if there was a prop, I would have said basketball.
I was not..
That's Yeah, that's a prop, exactly.
But I'm looking for something deeper, but that's okay.
That's okay.
I think you've given us an answer.
Deeper, Daddy.
Let's see.
I don't know.
I didn't know Arn was in it too.
Apologies, apologies.
I don't know what that means.
Arnold in the Leaf family story.
Arnoldld and the Lee family story name a better duo.
I don't know what that means either.
But that's okay.
HLP is also in the chat, by the way.
He's here, so.
What's up?
Baby.
Apparently you can download a text transcript of the chat.
I don't know you could do that.
I don't know why you want to do that, Bruce Lee, maybe.
Oh, I can print that out.
Cool.
Print that out.
Yeah, we're going to frame that on the wall somewhere.
When you write this screenplay, that is Arnold's life.
Can you get that translated to a scroll?
Is there a scroll service I can submit these two?
Yeah.
Arnold, you haven't mentioned your personal chat tonight.
What's going on in that one?
No, all Cassie got shut down.
Oh, no.
It's It's going.
It's going.
People are like popping off.
Spl.
Here's one.
Spit the splits.
Do the splits. splits.
Can you do the splits?
splits.
Travis.
I don't want to go to the hospital tonight, let.
No, no.
I think it's.
No, because Jean-laude Van Damme, one of the things he's known for, is that he's able to do the splits.
Did he do that in this movie?
No, but how does want to do that without. like, ripping your
muscles and your legs off?
That seems impossible to me.
Nope, you do it every time.
They have to retach them.
It's a one-time shot.
All right, all right.
They rip you apart and it stays that way.
And then they give you a bunch of stretchy pants.
Give ever spatchcock a chicken?
No.
Or Spatchcock a turkey.
I don't even know what that means.
Our Spatch is.
Arma likes a spatchcock and everything..
He's probably one of the biggest spatchcocks I've ever seen.
Wow.
I thought he said Bangkok.
I't a lot of.
You play a lot of bad men, you know?
That shuttle to Bangkok.
Spcock's when you like break the chest plate or something like that.
And so like, all of the arms and the wings
and the legs, yeah spread out.
Just like John Van Damme does.
Well, then then it splits.
Then it gets like
nice and ju juicy.
I mean, like when you cook it, like it's nice and even like that.
Well, what more do we have to say about JCBD?
Alex, I hope I didn't derail us too much, but please, let's.
You didn't do a derailing Arnold did, so.
No, no.
I was going to say It was my fault.
It was my fault.
I was going to say, okay, no, let's reel it back in.
Okay.
Let.
No, seriously, in all seriousness, the hostage crisis is like
the thing in the movie that is like the throw line for everything that's going on throughout it.
What do do you guys make of the hostage crisis?
Who was the guy with the long hair?
I didn't understand it, even was in the context of everything.
Here's the thing with the The
bigger guy was actually supposed to be the leader, but like the
guy, he had also brought on that guy who was dressed like a security guard.
It was like his friend.
But the other dude, with the long hair, he was, what do you call it?
Kind of like
part of the whole thing, but then he kept on saying, I
don't know if you recall, but he was saying that if
you want to be the leader, be the leader, but otherwise I'm going to take over.
He said that a few times.
And that's why he kept on like being like pushing.
Like it was
it was him that was like really behind the scenes.
He was kind of like a passenger, like backseat driver of the whole thing.
Right.
That whole
in initial part of the rob robbery scene
where the girl's nervous behind the counter and stuff, that
sort of reminded me of that scene in Snatch where they go
into the bookies to rob it and you have that girl behind the counter.
She's kind of nervous at first, but not really, and then she pulls out a shotgun.
That was giving me Snatch vibes.
But the guy with the long hair, the bad guy, who I still don't
even know what his name was, by the way, he reminded
me of that of that episode of It's Always Sunny where they remake Lethal Weapon 5
and Charlie's wearing the wig, the blonde wig, he's like one of the twin bad guys.
I think that came out after this movie.
Maybe it came out before.
I don't know, but I was seriously getting It's Always Sunny vibes from this movie.
I feel like this movie borrowed a lot from like action movie
tropes, which I guess shouldn't be surprising, right?
I mean, it is
at the end of the end of the day, an action movie, even if
it's in a metaa sense.
But yeah, I thought that was interesting.
What else, guys?
Chris, I feel like you have a little bit more to say or are you all tapped out, my friend?
I can go agazium about this movie.
What was the worst part of it for you?
What was the What was the thing that you're like, what the fuck is this?
The worst part was the pacing of this
movie was terrible.
Yeah.
Because we are seemingly in like a
short period of time going through
this story.
And we have so many different parts where
we like rerun from a different perspective.
Like the the scene where towards
the beginning when the whole shigig starts to happen and
the complex ps his head underneath the the the
garage, the security door thing, and then you just see the little gun poke out.
And then he misses somehow 15 times and doesn't shoot him once.
I'm like, that guy's the worse.
And then and then lo and behold, because we we get
this unnecessary behind the scenes of like what actually went down,
we find out it's like one of the main dudes who like steals the gun and goes like, I'll go do it.
And then he still can't do it.
Like he was like all coy about it.
Like, wait
and misses all the shots.
Anyway, I digressed. the lady in the taxi just groaning
and groaning and groaning and groaning like That was so annoying.
It was a lot.
Well to be fair to your point, Chris, I don't
think they're like professional marksmen, so come on.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
I get that.
Which is like why they're robbing a post office that has money, I know.
And also, isn't it isn't it hard to obtain a gun in Europe?
That's what they say.
I don't know.
I thought the same thing too.
Like when
when you're, like, looking down,
and then, you know, a gun is waiting there, right?
And then you're like..
Of course, this is how our flashlight under underneath the barrel?
And then it's like, it's it's a knife?
A knife with a gun?
It's a bayonetrel?
a bon. knife, yeah.
Yeah, and you stab like that.
Yeah.
It's all tactical.
It' going to kept missing.
And
Yeah.
But no, but seriously, yeah.
I just thought like, whoa, really good luck.
That first sequence, though, I agree, was kind of laughably bad just in the sense.
You' playing that scene two more times if I'm not missing, right?
Like, they do it one other time to show you that.
Well, only just once.
Only just once.
Oh, it was?
Really?
I got I think he would back to the bank.
Because if you remember, they show that scene, but then they show it from Jean-Claude Van Damme scene,
like point of view.
And that's it.
Gotcha.
I thought they had one more.
Again, this is where I start to get confused about it all because I'm like, S. same.
We're We're doing flashbacks in this in the
timeline that we're supposed to be watching.
Then we're doing jumpbacks in his personal life on how he even got there.
So it's like, we're mixing a lot of stories in one gameline.
And so the pacing's weird.
Also, think about it.
This is also a French cinema.
For sure.
Yeah.
There's a reason why.
The French do things a little bit different.
And also, this film that I kind of remind me of is
a film called, like Slightly reminding of was this film called Killing Zoe
uh, directed by Roger Avery.
It was like one of Quent Tarantino's sort of collaborators.
But yeah, I've the name just the heist part.
and also kind of the grittiness of like
where it takes place.
The killing Zoe takes place and then they like a bank and in
Europe. actual bank in Europe, not their post office.
Not a post office.
They went to the actual bank.
They went to the B&P Perry B. That's what they did.
They went to go play tennis.
They wanted to go play with the shuttlecocks.
I don't The Shuttlecocks..
I love a good game of shuttlecock.
Yeah, same, same, same..
But the game..
Okay, Marty for Supreme.
Marty.
Marty Supreme.
Supreme Marty, actually.
Supreme Arnold.
Arnold Supreme.
I like that one better.
I'm not Supreme.
I a sandwich, actually Arnold. should make make your own sandwich.
Call it the Arnoldsupreme.
I would order the Arnold Supreme.
I'm not even look at the ingredients.
Yeah.
Would you order double meat, though.
The Arnold special.
Ooh.
Is that Chinese food from Panda Express?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, Alex's portrait used to be up in that restaurant, but he took it down.
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, guys, I think we did it.
I think that's JCVD.
I think it's time I think it's about that time to go around and give our final thoughts.
Chris, I will start with you.
Oh, you're going to start with me.
Okay.
And then, yeah, there's an order of of things.
Yeah
I give it a
one half stars, one star for
trying and a half a star for the monologue.
If you liked
watching Jean Claude Van Dam movies,
I think it might be interesting to watch.
And I would agree, please watch the actual French version
with subtitles.
Do not watch the dubbed.
It does take away from it.
just just let it happen and absorb what you can.
And I think you might enjoy it.
Don't resist.
Just let't.
Just sit back and relax and enjoy it for what it is.
Because if you go in expecting, like, what Alex was
saying, like if you expect it to be something, it is not going to hit.
Whether it be an action movie or an artsy movie,
it's telling a story and it's telling a couple stories.
And there's some really
interesting moments in there that I think are good.
And JCVD, there's some acting chops there, and I like it.
I wish there was action in it, because that
that did lit me down a little bit
as we're talking about this action start.
We got like a teaser of action and then close to no action.
And the ones that we did, it was like, I'm I'm not going to get into the weeds of that.
It's an interesting movie.
If you like JCVD, you should watch it.
I thought this movie was May in the 90s, but it's 2008, so it's really difficult.
But yeah, uh one and a half stars
optimistically, I think people should try it out.
You can find me at Milkmanamerica,
anywhere on the socials, not fighting.
Like it.
I like it.
Thank you so much, Chris.
Alex, let's get your final thoughts.
I personally, really love this film.
It's one of my all-time, I don't want to say all-time favorites,
but all-time favorite meta films.
Especially like I said, we were having that discussion this
day and age about action stars trying to like step into the
realm of actual like doing good art, especially in
these and this day and age with like with the state
of film, people trying to become more serious with like
AI and a lot of these films
made by committee type of deals and Indy just like really trying
to like dig their feet in and do make good
art rather than just like letting the world take
over like cinema and just making garbage every single day, you know?
But I personally really enjoyed this film
like when I first watched it back in 2008.
I think that it's ahead of its time.
John Klaude Van Damme, to me,
I felt like deserved more.
Unfortunately, I think his health is declining and has been has been declining.
And so he's, you know he can't do the action stuff like.
I don't know.
Gently, Jackie Chan, they've all been able to keep
up their health and be able to still be able to and do action sequences.
But then again, I don't think any of them have done these sorts of like roles, right?
I don't think they've actually like branched out and actually did something a little bit more
with more depth.
So that's kind of hard to like compare those two
guys to the Jean-Coan Vanem who actually tried.
And I think that's that's an important thing to consider.
The fact that he actually attempted to do it.
I've yet to see John Cena
do like a. like a role that's like,
you know, a little more than just like a hero.
I think I think Peacemaker
is a great show, but I also don't feel like it's really
you know, he's done comedy, but he's
always been this kind of like, oh, I'm funny kind of guy.
Right.
But he's.
He hasn't stepped into the, like the world
of like even like Dwayne Johnson or especially Fista, you know, a guy like that.
Dave Matista really like has sunk his teeth into the acting world and really tried
to make some of his career than
just like blowing things up.
I gave it four stars.
I do think that, yes, you need
to watch the French subtitle version, not the dub version.
Stay away from it.
Pay the $3.99 on Amazon
or go and buy the go and buy the
DVD Blu-ray on eBay, which I'm going to do.
I like, I really love this movie.
You can find me at Daily Dare.
Awesome, awesome.
Arnold, you're next, and you know what comes after that?
My favorite part of the show, but let's get into your final thoughts,
where can people find you and then, you know, you brought up a good
point, Alex, about how the, and then we spoke about it
like a little bit throughout this whole show,
the vulnerability that, and the willingness
to do something different, got to give JCVD,
not just these claps, but we got to give...
Twerking claps.
Oh, that's right.
We hit the hour.
You gotta.
You got to still talk while you're doing this.
These claps.
That's the rule.
If you're going to do the dance, you got to.
Final thoughts, Arnold.
Go ahead.
Oh, yeah, final thoughts.
Was that the sound of your nutsack hitting the sides of your legs?
No, that was the sound of my ass.
Man, Damn!
I just had to, from both
sides, give a round of applause.
Go ahead.
Arnold.
Go the interview.
Was I
mentioned, I like how it started.
Then I did notice that I was like, oh, wait, he totally missed that punch.
But then you see that it was
the movie, it was him shooting a movie and
it was all in the one shot, which that in end of itself was pretty impressive.
I think other movies where we saw like where
the whole fighting scene was shot in one take or
it was an old boy, little throwback.
That was probably what, like our
fifth, sixth year or seventh movie?
Yeah. that we did on this podcast in 2020, probably.
But then it really did start to get confusing for me.
And I was also a little tired. had a long weekend, didn't get a lot of sleep
But I tried it.
And so, but then when I did try again, I
was still a bit confused and I didn't I didn't really like
it because I when I would watch it again, I was like, wait, I rewind it back.
I think I saw this.
and then I would fast forward it.
I was like, didn't I just rewind it to this?
And I'm like, wait, I kept to rewind it and like several times.
Was there certain parts where like different perspectives?
That's what it looked like to me.
Yeah, it kind of jumps back and forth, flashback, flash forward, like lost.
Did you ever see Lost?
I never saw Lost, but I know they did that.
Go ahead.
Yeah, I was lost too.
Wait, what did you say?
Let's just go ahead.
So, yeah, I'm not, I was a little lost.
I didn't I didn't really enjoy enjoy that.
But then I am willing to, on payday
rent the movie.
I'll I'll
I'll watch the other version, you know, because I do
believe that there'll be a little bit different effect.
So
I guess I'll have to wait until next week, but It's because of payday.
No debt, Arnold.
No.
I'm willing to watch it again because, oh,
yeah, to be honest, I did fall asleep a lot on this.
I really tried.
I really tried it.
It wasn't that interesting to me, but for now, my initial
score, which I feel like after this discussion
and knowing that there
was a monologologue that was really good, I guess.
I mean, the monologue that I did see towards the end, you know,
with the chair that was rising and the studio behind him.
I thought that was really good.
Oh yeah, yeah, the monologue that we we told you about.
Yeah.
No, I just described it to you like I saw it.
Yeah, the one I't described to you.
Oh, I know, I know.
The one Alex sent in a Link to watch?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, just if I'm going to watch just that part, I'll do that again.
Oh, like Chris, right?
Yes.
Yes.
But I do say, my initial score
was like that I'll give it a tube, but I feel like after
a proper rewatch, on on
the other version, the French version, or the non-d version.
Just give rid of two. haven't seen it yet.
No, I feel like it'll go up to a two and a half because I love
I love JCVD.
Oh, and one of the other things throughout the whole thing, I was like looking for the splits.
So he never did the splits.
They missed.
The thing I was talking about earlier in the show.
But I'm sure he can still do it.
I wonder.
I don't know.
I mean, back in 2008, I'm pretty sure I ask him.
Invite him to awards.
Because I feel like I saw like
a video that was probably even after 2008
where he did the splits even then.
And I don't know why he wouldn't want to show that off
in this movie.
But maybe he wanted to show his versatility.
He's not, you know, he's not just known for doing the splits.
I get it.
I will give it another shot.
I'm sorry for not being fully awake for this one.
Well, I'm glad you bring that up, but give us your Letterbox score before we get into that.
Okay, so Letterbox
two for now.
And you can find me on Letterbox at Arnie Caligo.
I'm Arnie Calo everywhere.
So that's my score for now with an asterisk.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for that, Arnold.
Now You're welcome.
It's time for my favorite part of the show. asterisk?
Yes.
It's time
for the Arnold Snoo meter.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
You know what?
You know what?
What?
You're going to do it again?
There you go.
I just had to get a picture of that.
Did you get it?
Because I could play it again if you didn't get it.
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
All right All right, Arnold.
So tell us, because you really want to get into this part.
What is your snoozeza meter score?
A 4Z rating.
It was a 4Z for me.
You did it too fast.
It fast?
Oh, my bad.
My bad.
It was, eh?
I'd have to say, a 4Z rating.
Hey, are those hangs or actually popping?
What or both?
So why?
Why?
Why is such a high Z rating, Arnold?
Please tell us.
There was no food involved.
was only.
Well, only me that
just could not stay awake.
Wow.
For the movie.
And you love JCBD.
Yeah,
my wife was texting me and then like I felt the buzz.
I was like, oh, okay.
Oh, okay, I'll rewind it.
It was only it was only five minutes back.
Okay.
All right right.
Lock in.
Okay?
And then
I guess I missed a few text messages and a few calls because she was upstairs.
She can hear me snoring.
But then this was this was like at 11 o'clock last night.
And I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, the night before.
You're a busy man.
You're a busy man.
And I was going to give it another try.
I fell asleep again and I like, okay, we're just going to get a good night's sleep now.
And then we'll regroup.
And when
we'll finish strong, we'll finish strong tomorrow.
And I continued to fall asleep again.
And I just, I don't know.
It was hard for me to follow, even during
the day when I was re-watching it, I'm like, I don't get the story, but I was like
yeah, it was, it was it was a little tough.
But maybe, maybe, and like I mentioned before,
I am a morning movie watcher that that's
the best time for me while I'm having my
mushroom coffee.
Lion' Z that's provided by
Sigmatic.
You know, shout out to Siggmatic for the No publish.
I feel like this is the highest Z rating you've given in a long time.
What was the last time you gave such a high Z rating?
What movie?
Do you remember recall at all on the top of your head?
Inside Siberian film.
Which?
Okay.
Okay, hear me out.
Remember Siberian film?
I gave it a high Z rating
and I didn't really like it.
But after the discussion.
Oh, it really made me think.
And it's probably one of the films that I call back to many times.
I did this episode.
And so I think, but I didn't re-watch Siberian film.
That's okay.
I didn't want to put myself in.
Nobody should rewatch Siberian film.
But I will with this.
And and I'm going to pay
the $3.99 next payday.
That's good.
So that that was my Z rating.
Those are my ratings.
Last but not least.
We've got you, Adrian, Mr. B
TZ2 bill.
Well, you know.
What you got to say?
I always like to look at everything from a writer's perspective, right?
So we need to put on our writer's cap.
There's the old writer's cap.
Hey.?
It's so fancy.
All I know.
Very, very fancy.
The writer's cap, the writer's hat.
I called it a hat, but I say it's a cap.
It doesn't matter.
Hey, no cap.
I thought this movie felt very
unstructured, storytelling wise, like Chris said.
I understood what they were going for
with having like the flashbacks and sort of
weaving his life into this,
his real life, into this fictionalized story with the bank robbery and all that.
And I appreciated that.
But I think at the end of the day, it didn't really hit for me.
I think that it felt too muddled.
I feel like what he was trying to accomplish on an emotional level
didn't really fit in with with the rest of the movie.
I respect that he was trying to do something different.
I respect that he was and St.
Prop.
Thank you, Christopal.
I respect that he was trying to do something different.
He was trying to be vulnerable.
He was trying to say, this is all an allegory for my real life.
As an actor, as an action star, as a father, that's all well and good.
But as Chris said earlier, it honestly felt like we were watching two different movies
On an emotional level, you have the
stuff based on his life, and then you have on a less emotional
level, all the action stuff, not the action stuff, the bank robbery stuff, I
should say. because like you said, like there's action stuff in the beginning, and then that's pretty much it.
And I kind of get that.
You know, you have the constraints of a budget.
You know, this was not a high budget movie.
I mean, let's be honest.
Even in 2008, nobody was going to give Jean-Claude Van Damme a big budget.
And that's fine.
Steven Seagal has made an entire career to making shitty, low budget movies
in Prague or whatever country he films in.
So I actually think Jean Claude Van Damme could do the same if he
locked in and ate orange chicken every night, and then he wrote a good script, I think he could really
pull that off.
I'm not actually surprised we haven't seen a JCBD resurgence.
Maybe we will.
Maybe this will give this episode will give him a bump in his career and he'll become famous again.
And next year he'll be at the Saturn Awards
talking to us on the Red Carver.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm just saying anything's possible.
It's all I'm saying.
So with all that said, you know, I I
I'm giving this movie a pretty low score.
And don't hate me for this, Alex, or anybody else who loved it.
But it's just kind of how I felt
at the end of the day.
And that's why I rate this movie two stars. on the box.
At the end of the day, this show isn't about ratings.
It's about discussion.
And that's that's that's all good.
So that's all good..
By the way, man, the director, Mabouk El Nri, I don't know if I'm saying that, right?
He's directed, looks like he's done other action movies, including one called
Kung Fu's Zora, which came out 2022, so he's still working.
So, yeah, maybe we need a little follow-up between him and him and Mr. JCVD.
But yeah,, I am on Letterbox where you can find me.
Boot too big.
You can find the show everywhere else.
I've never seen a podcast, ladies and gentlemen, we are everywhere.
We are on Facebook.
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Thanks to Mr. Healing L Power for the Arnold Sozameer music.
And that's the show, ladies and gentlemen.
Any final thoughts from the gentlemen?
Needs more splits.
Needs more splits.
Needs more splits.
Needs more splits.
Do the splits.
That's what the private chats saying.
Do this.
Gotcha, gotcha.
All right.
Well, we're going to go out on that note