On this episode of The Never Seen It Podcast, Adrian and the crew dive into Kevin Costner’s ambitious but divisive western Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1. With stunning landscapes, questionable costumes, a slow-moving story, and behind-the-scenes controversy, the gang unpacks whether this epic is worth the three-hour runtime—or if it’s just one long first act.
We are back with returning guest Amber al,ong with Alex, Arnold, and Justin to take on Kevin Costner’s massive western project, Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1. The pick was Amber’s. She wanted a western ,and the reactions are… well, let’s just say no one is exactly riding off into the sunset with this one.
Justin kicks things off by appreciating some of the gorgeous landscape shots that bring the Old West to life, but he quickly admits some sequences felt oddly cheap. Adrian has gripes of his own, pointing out how the score feels like a knock-off Hans Zimmer soundtrack and how the costumes look suspiciously like they were pulled straight off the racks at a western-themed Anthropology store. Amber, meanwhile, didn’t mince words: the movie felt like a slog to her, dragging out scenes without much payoff.
Even Alex, who usually digs deep into the thematic and artistic elements of movies, admits he just couldn’t muster much interest in the story. That says a lot. Arnold, on the other hand, pulls out his signature “z-rating” or snooze-o-meter review, and surprisingly, he stayed awake more than expected.
The crew also dives into the off-screen controversies surrounding Horizon. Adrian brings up reports of a lawsuit involving Kevin Costner’s alleged predatory behavior toward a male cast member, plus the shocking fact that the production skipped hiring an intimacy coordinator, something that has become standard in modern filmmaking.
And then there’s the elephant in the room: the length. At just over three hours, Justin jokes that the whole thing feels like one really long first act. The entire table is stunned to learn that Costner not only intends this to be the first of four parts but that the sequel might not even make it to release given the film’s disastrous box office performance.
Is Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1 a misunderstood epic or a misguided vanity project? You’ll have to listen to find out where the gang ultimately lands. Saddle up for this episode, because even if the film was a slog, the conversation sure isn’t.
Welcome to Nervousing Podcast.
The only podcast called Nerven It Worth listening to.
We have Mr. Arnold Calgo, aka.
Arnie, the One Man Party, Mr. Alex Coleleo, aka.
Daily Dares, a.K. Filipino Grigio, The brothers Kleo,
Mr. formally known Mr. Shib a Zombie now, Mr. Ghost Nerd 88, right, Justin?
Is that?
Yes, get it right.
Why are you so formal?
We're rebranding we'rebranding here.
And then
me, Adrian Delore,ka.
Boots too big on the socials, and a return guest.
I've never seen your podcast.
Amber Wyatt.
Amber, what is your user handle?
I probably should have asked you that before.
Is it that Denver girl?
Yeah, it's just that Denver girl.
Oh, okay.
Well, that Denver girl on socials and Millennial
Matrix Media, follow her on that as well.
Thanks for coming back, Amber.
We appreciate you.
Yes.
And the movie we're discussing tonight is the
2024 movie, Horizon, An American Saga, Chapter 1.
In 1859, families
discover the lure of the Old West West as they settle to
territories from Wyoming to Kansas.
Meanwhile, a gruff cowboy soon finds himself
on the run with a prostitute and a young boy after killing a fellow gunman.
Starring Kevin Costner, directed by Kevin Costner.
co-starring Sienna Miller, Sam Worthington, Jenna Malone, Abby Lee, Michael Rooker.
I always like seeing Michael Rooker in a movie.
Danny Hustin.
I love Danny Hustin.
I love me some Danny Hustin.
You guys know that that was like, that's always the gruff sounding
guy who hugs like this and he's always scheming and doing something.
That's my impression.
And then I was surprised to see
Luke Wilson, of all people in this movie.
I'm like, Luke Wilson, like, what memorable thing did he ever do outside of
that one?
Idiocracy.
Idioc Idiocracy and all the Wes Anderson movies he's been in.
He's a okay.
Yeah.
Not old school?
You know what?
Hot take?
I think Luke Wilson is a better actor than Owen Wilson.
That's.
I agree.
No, no, no, I agree.
I agree.
I agree.
Why do you think that is?
Because I feel like Owen has starred in more movies than Luke.
I think Owen Wilson is the face.
He's the nose.
He's the face.
He''s big more. recognizable.
Luke Wilson, I think, is far more diverse in his acting.
I think Luke Wilson is It's just the face, just the face.
And always He's a little
He's less than Amoth than his brother, yeah.
Yeah.
Owen Wilson is very, very.
I don't want to say forgettable, but
like, he kind of blends in with the crowd.
Yeah.
I think the only time I truly enjoyed Owen
Wilson is when he got his head lubbed off in the haunting.
I forgot about that, actually.
You know, I really enjoyed his role in Royal Tenenbaums.
It was a very complex character.
spoke to to me, at least, you know, like the family trauma..
Wow.
Well, we're putting this off as long as we can because this
movie was quite the choice creatively.
This movie was, first of all, this movie was three hours long.
And the time that I took me to watch this movie, I've had two birthdays.
My son has gone off to college, and we are now headed towards the heat death of the universe.
And here's the thing.
Long movie
and I don't even know what happened in this movie.
Like, I watched it and I couldn't even tell you what the hell is going on in this movie.
So maybe you guys will help me decipher it.
So none of us have seen it, by the way, right?
And I think we've all, this is one of those, none of us has seen it before.
I've never seen it.
Yeah, okay.
Well
Who chose this movie?
Well, I did because I
was talking to Amber and we were talking about like wanting to do a website Western and I thought,
oh, Kevin Costner, it's a Western that's out now.
Maybe this will be a good choice.
I didn't know much about it.
My perception of this movie before I watched it was
that it was supposed to be this big epic saga that he's trying to do into
a quadrology, Kevin Costner.
So I thought, hey He said, what?
Yeah, yeah, quadadrology?
Exactly.
Not a trilogy, a quadrology.
How long is this book?
There's no book.
There's two chapters right now.
It's a.
I think he's going to be releasing four movies, right?
Well, we'll get into that because there's been a hatchet thrown into the
into the machine, the well-oiled machine
that is the Kevin Costner's studio powerhouse.
But yeah, I chose this because I thought, you know, I
like Kevin Costner for the most part.
Like, I think Westworld is a criminally underrated science fiction
post-apococalyptic story..
And, you know, dancesances
with wolves is a classic field of dreams.
Come on, man.
If you build it, they will come.
And Arnold knows about that firsthand.
But here's the thing though.
The postman.
The postman, yeah.
And he always rings twice, by the way.
Never, never once, in this case, Kevin Cost is trying to ring four times, but we'll see what happens.
Yeah, so I chose this movie because I thought Kevin Costner is, you know, still the shit in a way.
I enjoyed Yellowstone.
It's succession with horses and not as good
but it's basically the same thing.
Just take, take them with the New York City boardroom, put them in fucking Wyoming.
Sorry, she hear me, by the way?
I don't want to cuss in front of me.
I don't know. is all right.
Oh, yeah.
And I forgot the reason why, well, we'll do the unboxing.
We'boxing.
A lot do you an advertisement break.
Okay, do you want to.
Yeah, we'll, we'll get to that.
But anyway, I was going to tell you, I saw Kevin Costner in concert here
locally at the Albo Caliente Casino performing
one of our friends.
She couldn't go to the concert.
And he, yeah, I was like, what?
Kevin Costner doing music?
Was he on the harmonica?
What?
No, it was like a band.
What the hell was he doing?
And
Oh, wow.
yeah, I meant to post some stuff about it, but I, but I didn't.
Now you'll be able to.
Bad boy.
Not bad boy?
Well, I hope his band is better than his acting skills because
or his writing skills.
Because, yeah, this movie was not as enjoyable as I was expecting.
But you know what?
It's fine.
It's still going to be a good movie to discuss.
So actually, let's start with you, Arnold.
What was your perception of this movie before you watched it?
My perception
was like, okay, here's my second Western film I've ever seen in my life.
And then, uh, oh,
I was like, wow, it felt like they're really
making Indians, like native Native Americans look like
bad guys and and like, like they're
oh, like, these really dangerous people,
which which I don't know, I didn't really like about that.
But
there were some parts that was like, oh,
the camera views that I thought was really interesting, like certain
shots, I think you get that naturally a lot with just the
you know, being out there out in the in the
wild wild.
Yeah, the wild wild West.
And, it was a lot of different parts.
Like, okay, like, man, okay, how is this going to connect?
But then I kept reminding myself or like, oh, this is called
Horizon.
It was chapter one And so I'm like, okay,
so there must be a chapter two and be more.
Like, I thought it was a
lot, at some point, all the parts are going to have to connect.
And then they didn't.
And they didn't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They connect in chapter six.
Yeah.
Kevin Chapter six, yeah.
Kevin Costner doesn't even show up to like an hour into the movie.
Yeah.
He shows up in that ridiculous bucket hat.
What did you guys think of that bucket hat wore?
Jeez..
Sorry, It was definitely a choice.
Yeah.
There was a lot of choices.
A lot of cho.
A lot of choices.
Why?
I never underststood.
So Horizon.
So they were carrying around that
piece of paper that said Horizon on it.
That was just from what I got of it, that was just the
land area that was for sale.
And all of these people are trying to go to this land?
Is that is that's kind of what I what I was gathered?
Because I wasn't I wasn't too sure because obviously this this
movie is named after what is on this paper.
And
it seems like a lot of hands are always on this paper for some reason.
And I feel like it was like a, like a,
not more like a land that was for sale, but like just an area for like
people to go to for like this new life.
And it was was marketed that as
this way to like get people going west, you know?
And that was kind of the new frontier sort of thing.
Yeah.
um Yeah, because that was that was really interesting
for me because everybody was
like dead set on reaching this land.
It seemed like everybody, everybody just had this paper printed.
It's like, and I haven't seen like chapter two because chapter 2 is out.
I guess it came out like a couple months.
Actually, has it come out?
I was reading them.
We don't even know yet when it will be released.
Oh, because I saw something
on it where it was supposed to release a couple of months after.
Maybe I'm wrong because I saw I saw something along
the lines of that chapter two is out.
So when I read what I read is
it was supposed to come out, because this came out June of last year.
Part two was supposed to come out August of last year
but because part one did not do so great.
They they held off on releasing part two
in theaters and they have yet to decide when they're going to release it on streaming, if ever.
So, we don't even, so we don't, it's up in the air.
We don't know when part two will come out if it'll come.
If it could like not put it in the theaters, but the following month,
like in September of 2024, it like premiered at like some Italian film festival.
So like it had, like it's regard, but like it's out there.
Yeah..
It's out there, but I don't think it's in theater.
It never went to theaters like that, but
Yeah.
Part of it wonders that they're going to recut it.
I think they're going to recut it maybe to make it shorter and more cohesive.
I don't know.
I'm just completely speculating here.
You can find out on Pirate.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're hearing a little sensor right now.
Beep.
Yeah, so I watched a trailer for parts.
Cowboy Bay.
Cowboy Bay.
But I know I'm coming in hot with this movie, but Amber and I want to hear from you next.
What did you think overall?
after having watched this three-hour long epic saga?
Overall, like it was slow.
Like, Arnie said, like they, they showed,
like, you know, like they kind of played like that savage trope and all that.
And I think this is like, to illustrate, like the
perspectives of those like people moving into that area,
like the fear, basically, to illustrate like the fear, like the desolateness,
like the crazy wide, like shots, like with nothing.
Like,
I feel like all of that was kind of like maybe to shed some light on like
their perspective, but like, I would have also liked to sit hear
like, like more of, like to have like more of the Native American perspective illustrate it.
Like that was my overall like thing from it.
Yeah, that's a good point.
You did appreciate that they had them speak and what I'm assuming is a native
tongue brought those.
I think I was kind of annoyed by
the Native American stuff only because I
was I was like, man, they're really
making them out to seem like terrible monsters.
And I was kind of, I don't know, I was kind of unsettled by
that in particular, uh mostly because
it's like, uh, when it comes to like most
Western movies, especially like old John Wayne movies,
you know, like, uh, we were actually discussing
this in previous episode, but it's like like
a pro-American take on, you know, cowboys
and Indians and Indians being like the savage
murderers that they are.
I wish this movie, I think I would have been a little bit more invested
in it if they gave us more of the Native American perspective
rather than like, oh, they're here.
They understand that these settlers are moving in on their turf and they're going to murder anybody
that tries to take it type of deal.
And I don't know.
In my opinion, I was just kind of bothered by the things
that I. I is I agree they had three hours to do that, Justin.
They had three hours to do that, and they didn't spend any of that time, really.
I'm,
I agree that it wasn't very balanced.
I agree with Justin, it wasn't very balanced.
It's I think I feel
that Kevin Costner was probably
thinking, oh, putting in this little tiny bit.
Because at the very beginning, if you notice, it's the two Native American
kids watching over that horizon of like the
people like putting those stakes in the ground.
And then they're like, oh, it's it's a very innocent take.
And it's like, oh, they're playing a game.
Right?
But then all of a sudden you see the fellow Native
Americans, the adults kind of coming over the
the ridge and attacking them, basically.
And it and throughout the film, you like,
you get this more so like subdued
and you barely hear in the whole the first
chapter, you barely hear anything
from the native American perspective other
than maybe that the elder,
you know, talking about, you know, we need to not be attacking these people.
And it's like, yeah, I get that it's, it
almost feels like too little, too late at that point, right?
Like they're, like trying to create this.
Kvin Costner is trying to create this perspective of like,
you know, but I feel like he, I think, I feel, it feels like he's
like, okay, that's good enough to like make it feel like
these people are human.
But it really feels like he
dehumanizes the Native Americans in this film more so.
Like, I don't, it doesn't make any sense.
And this whole film like feels so predictable.
And to be completely honest, I don't feel this is a Western.
This is just more of a period piece.
That's a great.
It's a drama.
Like, there's no..
When I think of a Western, I think of a shootem-up.
I think of like tombstone.
To me, that like epitomizes like what a Western is.
I'm I was expecting a lot of action
And that while the action was there, it
was almost more so like very heavy laden.
Like there was never any sort of
the action in it never set felt like there was
a balance between the battles, you know?
Yeah.
It was like one side was winning, always.
Like, you see the Native Americans, like,
they go
kill a bunch of people on that land.
And then the next time you see the those, I don't know, were they police?
It might as well have been.
They were like scout.
I couldn't tell you.
You know?
Like bounty hunters or something.
Bounty hunters, yeah.
Bounty hunters.
They were bad hombres.
And then, like, you have the
and then what really feels like a propagandized
version is like the government comes in, right?
You see the army come in, right?
And they're like the ones who are like, well,
the horizon is gonna, it's like, people are going to go because they're going to go.
They want, you know, regardless of like what they want, like what it is.
They were pretty limp.
Like, the U.S. military in this movie was limp.
I was like, what are you guys even here for?
Like, leave these people alone.
They obviously, they managed.
I mean, yeah, they got fucked, but they managed, and
y'all did did really nothing, honestly.
Just say, don't go there.
It just felt like they were trying to shoehorn.
This was a way to shoehorn that romantic aspect between..
And I saw that coming a mile away, like, the
wife who loses her husband and the husband, like, let's be honest,
the husband was very, like, homely, you know?
He wasn't, like, the most
like charming looking or, you know, he looked like he was going to die at the very beginning of the movie.
You know?
He was the kind of the disease.
He had the aura of Expendable.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, the only thing.
No aura farming for that, gentleman.
Like, the sun felt more like he
was. like, oh, I hope he doesn't die.
You're really hoping that he survives.
But he his death felt
more of.. like
a value.
I don't know what you call that, but then the whole. a bigger impact.
Had more impact, yeah.
It had more impact because he was the one that was like actually had
some more slightly more character
development in the very beginning of the film.
You know?
So I found out that this movie's budget was $38 million.
Kevin Costner paid $38 million out of his own money to make this.
Do you think that informed the lack of action that we noticed this movie?
Because years's the thing
When you don't have the budget to have big action set
pieces, you make up for it in the writing for like all the character and story stuff.
And I don't know that we got that.
I don't know that we got necessarily $38 million worth
of a story here.
And I noticed a lot of shots were big,
expansive wide shots of like people on horses and stuff.
And it's like, okay, you're trying to make it look grand and I get it, but like, I don't know.
I just feel like the budget really kind of hampered what they could have done.
I have a question for all of you.
It's still one of Justin's terms, the story felt very lim
Yeah, but.
It felt very.
Yeah.
The mob women like like slowness and stuff like that.
And then also, like, the fighting, like, I think that they
were, like you said, like, I think it is more of a period piece.
And I think that they were trying to make it like realistic in that regard.
So like,
sometimes I think there wasn't a lot going on.
Like there probably wasn't like a lot of shootouts and stuff like that's what we like.
You know what I mean?
But maybe it really wasn't like that.
Maybe it was just riding for weeks sometimes.
And then I felt like, like the fighting, like maybe did go down like that..
Like, you know, but the Native Americans, like still are demonstrating their pride and like,
their dignity.
Like, you know, so like that's where the anger is coming from.
Like, but then also like the white people are very scared.
So it's like kind of like, I'm saying like kind of like the dynamic between like fear and like pride.
And it's like, it's kind of showcasing like how much more they suffered because like
they're not like coming out on top every time.
It's like, it was probably more like that, honestly.
Like they didn't have the resources.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I feel like this era of American history is like,
it's like the post-toddler stage, you know, because like we were starting,
you know, obviously Civil War was around the corner, but we were like starting
to kind of get our sea legs a little bit and develop as a country.
And that took a lot of time, right?
Because we didn't have cars.
We didn't have, we barely had started having
the railroad, right, for transportation and whatnot.
So I think Amber Amber is
right and onto something with that because like, I think that's
what that scene from the beginning kind of tells us.
And I kind of overlooked that like because of the rest of the movie.
But it's like a father and son
are obviously trying to establish a life next
to this river and then they get
overthrown by somebody that doesn't want them on their land, but they were innocently
just trying to set up home, you know, and that's all that they were trying to do.
And then everything else like
came after like, the hatred
and the division between the two and
there's obviously no communication going on, whether it's like a
language barrier or the hate is just so
prominent on both sides that they don't care.
It's a bloodbath regardless for both both sides.
And also, I think there's a lack of communication because the government is wanting to
grow the economy in this new place.
So like they're like, yeah, going out, everything will be fine.
And then it's like, surprise.
They didn't tell you about this.
And it's like, yeah, of course they didn't.
Like they want you to go make money in Kansas, like, and make Kansas a place now.
Nobody wants to go to Kansas.
They're coming coming from a country that they didn't particularly
trust with like full, like open trust problem, you know?
And then it's like psych, we going to do the same thing to y'all.
And in the same vein, it's
like, it kind of makes me think about it now too.
It's like this child was
probably born on this land and it's not his fault, technically
that he was brought to this land, you know, and caught
up in this entire mess, you know?
So I see your perspective on that..
You know, uh, you know what this movie should have been called?
A Man in Trouble.
You know what's, that's what I was going to say before.
I have a question for you, while.
Do you think a movie title or just a title of
a series movie, whatever, has an effect on
the, how the
movie like does, how well a movie does.
I think there's something to that.
Yeah.
I feel like you could have just called this Horizon, and I think that could have worked.
I think Horizon, in American Saga chapter one is a mouthful.
Yeah, definitely.
I was already upset going in
for such a long.
What's that, Arnold?
I think Horizon was deficient.
Right?
That's what I'm.
You like chapter one, then you like, wait, this is
In my opinion, it's kind of like slapping on Made in America sticker onto something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Made in America..
You know?
You remember the movie that it had G Lee, who was like, um,
he was like, kind of like imprisoned.
He was like a slave and then they, it was called, originally called
Danny the Dog in like Asia.
Oh, when they brought it..
Is't it called The One?
No, no, no.
There's like a.
What is the Too be number one?
I can't remember.
Let me look it up.
It was definitely this movie that.
It's not I felt like in.
No, not Hero.
Which I love, by the way..
It was like...
Oh, yeah, it was called.
When they brought it to America, it was called Unleashed, which I think is.
Unleashed, yeah.
It was a stupid name.
Like, Lee is unleashed.
Like, I thought Danny the Dog was actually kind of a more compelling
name for a film, you know?
But that feels like a sitcom
Danny the Dog Jelly.
I mean.
That's just me.
Unleashed.
Unleas just sounds generic.
You know, like.
It does. gently in Unleashed.
I'm like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow, Morgan Freeman's in that with him.
That's cool.
We'll have to watch that sometime.
Yeah.
But switching gears really quick.
So really quick,
Arnold and Alex, you guys just got back from the
San Diego Comic Con that took place over the weekend.
And Arnold, set this up for us.
You have a product.
You have a certain merch that you want you want to talk about tonight, right?
This episode is brought to you by UCC.
And Baby 3.
Well.
We're just going to do a.
Quick.
I just decided, okay, I'm going to give her this, this number
573 of 2000.
Oh, wow.
And so, all right, Mia, are you ready to unbox this?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to give it while she's unboxing
it, I'm going to give it a little bit more context.
So, uh, currently there's obviously that huge, uh
like for for over the, what do you call that?
The, um, the, uh, um,
Labubu by Potmartart, right?
Hotmart created the Labubu right there.
And
from what I've been told, it is,
oo, a little too much SMR.
Alex is overstimulated.
I want those.
Also, it's like a...
Yeah.
So it's like their response.
I can't remember those things.
I've seen those.
I have a few coworkers with those.
Their eyes move.
They're pretty cool.
I have one myself that I'm keeping just for myself to move their eyes.
Nice.
Oh, they do.
They'll moves around.
Yeah, you.
So hold on.
So it is a libubboo or it's not a lib?
No, no, no.
It's.
No, no, no.
It's from a different company called
Kir Planata.
Kir Plan.
It's like, and anyways, they're their company.
So to give a little bit more context, LeBubu and
the company parent company Hop March, they've outpaced
every single toy company currently on the market.
They've made $1 billion dollars off of this already.
Since Wow.
How do we start on the boo?
Wow.
This year alone, it made $1 billion.
Can you call it Lupu.
Can we use our monkey to be our Loooo?
I mean, yeah, we can make our own blinky poo.
Yeah.
We just need some South Korean pop star to endorse it, and then it'll go viral, right?
I know
Oh, well, hey, get that deal made, Justin.
All right.
You Got it.
I'm Strictly business.
All right.
Nope.
Thank you if she can friend of the podcast.
Thank you, Mia.
Yeah.
Back to the show.
Back to the show.
I want to, you know,
there's going to be a little boo-oo movie.
I'm calling it now.
Somebody, some Hollywood studio hot shot
Nepo Baby is going to use Chat GVT to write it.
Go ahead, Justin.
Adrian, I can't believe you don't know about the LaBoo movie.
It's already been released.
It's called
Where the Wild Things Are.
I read the book.
I never watched that, though.
Was that movie any good?
I never saw the movie.
Maybe we should do an episode on that movie.
I thought it was awful.
I would have that
was an adult film called that.
Yeah.
I wouldn't know.
I know I wouldn't doubt it.
No way.
But you know, actually, guys Our research sc is on it.
A fart fact on where their wild things are.
Was that Spike Jones
chose to do that before, I can't remember.
There was a different movie.
He was tapped to do.
Who's Spike Jones?
You don't know who Spike Jones is?
No, I just
Okay, so, okay, back to Horizon.
Here we are.
Let's let's, let's, keep talking about her, I guess.
I have some notes.
I have some notes really quick.
I want to talk about.
Yeah, go ahead.
No, I'm just going to say, you have a lot of notes.
I don't have a lot of notes on this phone.
I don't have a notes either, but
Just kind of bring it back in a little bit.
It's like, okay, there were some parts of the movie where I'm
like, you know, this is actually like really good stuff.
Like most of the stuff in the beginning.
Like this reminds me like a Western style crash,
you know, like all, all these, all these stories
are like slowly coming together.
And I'm like, I'm like, yeah,, I was invested in it for a little bit.
I'm like, okay, like the whole tent of people where
they blew themselves up They told the little boy, close your eyes or
told the kids, close your eyes, and then they just fucking mushroom cloud into the
Like, that shit was cool.
I was like, wow, that's something I've never seen.
That was in the beginning of the movie, right?
That explosion.
Yeah.
When they were like raiding that camp and everything.
And like, like I said, there are like moments in
this thing where I'm like, I'm really invested in it.
And then you get to like the last half of the movie and
I'm, I'm struggling, you guys.
I'm struggling to like, to like keep
up with like who's who, what's, what?
And I'm like hoping for this like, this big payoff
at the end of this whole thing.
And mind you, I already know that there's a second
thing coming out.
So I'm like, okay, they're going to like wrap this up in like a pretty little package.
And then they gave us what they gave us
was no real resolution to anything.
I'm glad you bring that up, but because I had a
note here that did you guys notice that after that big blowup scene
the music was like really calm and serene.
It was like, something out of Lord of the Rings where it was like, I don't know.
It was like a little like a light flute.
And I was like, a bunch of people just got blown up.
And like, why is the music so calm?
And then the other thing I noticed, and this is
because they were trying to show that they were going to heaven.
Yeah, boom.
There you go.
That's a good.
That's my head cannon now.
Probably.
You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you notice?
that the wardrobe felt like it was too nice and pristine?
Like it almost felt like it came out of a Western themed anthropology store or something.
Dude, so
there was this there's a scene where, um, they're like,
the daughter and the mom are kicking to that army camp, right?
And they all of a sudden she like, it looks like almost like she had just
had sex or whatever but she she's all in these these pristine white clothes.
I was like, oh, where am I?
She was like lingerie.
she's her lingerie.
And then then they they cut to a shot of like the daughter.
I was like, oh, oh, I hope she's not like that too.
Jeez.
But like.
But she starts screaming.
You never know.
You hear her screaming and it's like it's because of the scorpions in her room.
But I was like, dude,
yeah.
Like the makeup, they, it didn't feel like they were
in any sort of rugged situation.
You know?
It was too clean them?
No.
Yeah, like they had was their clothes every single freaking day.
Well, here's the thing, too.
You know that I mean, there were a lot of clotheslines.
Yeah.
You know they shot this on digital because the whole the whole movie looked too clean.
And I'm sure they shot it on good cinema digital cameras.
But like normally when they shoot, I mean now that everyone shoots on
digital, they try to dirty up the image a little bit, give it that sort of film grain look.
I don't think they did that with this movie.
It just it all just felt too clean..
It
It felt like a Hallmark movie.
Oh my God, yes.
That is Like it was made for television.
Yeah.
Or an oxylean commercial that dresses too white.
No, oxylean...
It should have been an eggshell white, I think.
The first female Native American character that they
introduced, by the way, I immedirely wrote down Native American Kim Kardashian.
Not only because she was vict extremely attractive, but she She's very beautiful.
She had a very modern makeup look to her that just it didn't fit
I think, the time period.
What did you guys think about that?
To me, it looked, she looked like someone who drank too much character. carrot juice.
She used a juicero.
She drank a gallon of carrot juice.
So much that she started to turn a little bit orange.
Yeah, I could see that.
It had the fake tan.
She had the pro wrestler fake tan.
Yeah.
There's a tanny salon next to the saloon.
wasn't note what I had was that I noticed like the prostitute character.
She kind of like was throwing herself at Kevin Costner.
And I was like, like, I like that Kevin Costner, who was a much older man
at this point, like writes himself into roles where like women, beautiful women throw themselves at him.
And I wrote like, who does he think he is, Adam Sandler?
Like he always has like hot women throwing themselves at
him in his movies, even though he's like always like a man child, but
You know what other movie I've seen her in?
She was in Man Max Fury Road.
She played one of the wives.
Oh, I remember her from that.
That's.
Yeah, She's like the one that she wears all white.
She's blonde.
And she's she's, I don't know why I remember this line from
that movie, but she's always like, yeah, a real schlanger or whatever.
She says She says that line. and I'm like, what?
Yeah.
But she she was in Mad Max Fairo.
I think that's the only other thing that I've ever seen her in.
And Her name is like Abby somewhere, something.
Another question, I had, is how many shots does it take someone for someone to die in this movie?
Like this movie opens up with a guy getting shot in bed
and he still has the stamina to get up and shoot back.
And then like later on, somebody else gets shot like multiple times.
And like The guy with the two arrows in his chest?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And like, these people aren't pervious to bullets and arrows, apparently.
Well, I mean, look, didn't
Tupac got shot five times?
He they got shot nine times?
Yeah, that that's true.
And these are with guns and weapons from the. 90s.
From the 90s..
How much more in was the 1700s or 16?
Tupac could have played a great cowboy, by the way.
Go ahead.
I mean, I feel like the
like one the the style of those, that
kind of ammunition seemed like it would be more painful.
You know what I mean?
It's It kind of feels like when people get
shot back then, it's more so
like people die from the pain, not like from bleeding out, you know?
Like from the shock?
Yeah, from the shock, you know?
Yeah.
Generational death.
Yeah.
Well, I think we talked about this before on a different show.
I I called it, by the way, Justin.
What's that Arnold?
I think we talked about this before.
I think it was on Tombstone.
The bullet's back then.
Like nowadays, the bullets, they
come at you like, like, you know, like a torpedo, right?
You know, where back then, they would go like in this direction.
And that's what I'm saying about, like the
pain threshold versus like just bleeding out.
You know, like a bullet, like in modern days would
make you bleed out from like front and back, right?
Whereas like, um
Sorry, it's.
It's this whole thing where,
you know, that shotgun shot for that guy, he's
it feels like it's a lot of buckshot just coming right at him.
Like, it's not just like one bullet.
It's like a bunch of shrap.
Yeah.
Bun shot?
Oh, man.
I would hate to be shot by buckshot.
Like, especially if it was spread out.
Like if I was like, like a while away
and then they shot me with it, like you wouldn't necessarily
die by it, but man, just having all that shrapnel under your skin and shit penetrating.
By the way, tonight's episode brought to you by a combination P Express in Del Taco.
Panic Express, when you're here, you're Arnold.
And Wendy.
And Wendy.
And Wendy's.
Arnold.
I like everybody has food tonight.
I finished a bloody Mary
That's great.
Food Liquid dick.
Ooh.
Okay, so let's see.
Where are we at?
Amber, sorry, I feel like I haven't asked you guys as many questions tonight,
but yeah, what, I don't know, like, what else did you think about this story overall?
Are you excited to see part two, hopefully, or how are you feeling on that?
Yeah, I feel like we need to see part two
for sure, just like so things start to make sense.
But also, like, it was pretty slow
and like, yeah, like hard to keep up with.
But I was with you too.
Like, I agreed when you were saying that like the costumes and like the makeup
and stuff were like kind of too contemporary and like too clean and just like
again, like, I agree so much that it
was like a period piece because it's like a portrayal of the time
and like an illustration of the time.
But it's not necessarily a Western.
To us, like a Western has more action.
Like a Western is quicker.
Like, yeah, Western usually has like
I don't know, just like more, I don't know.
So it was different.
Like, that's something that like y'all brought up that I thought was interesting.
Like, it could have been dirtier, like it could have been r rougher.
Like, especially when so many other things were
like realistic.
Like, like what I was talking about earlier, it's like, why
is the costuming and stuff like so not realistic?
Yeah.
By the way, do you have a favorite Western?
My favorite Western..
I just like the rifleman.
Like, I like the show with Chuck Connors.
Oh.
That's my favorite.
Me and my dad used to watch it, but
I think like, the good, the bad, and the uglygly probably also me and my dad used to watch.
That's a classic.
Have you seen Stagecoach?
That's a good one.
I forget who's in that.
That was a John Ford movie.
And my dad I really enjoyed John Wayne, and I don't even know what the name of those movies were.
Well, I don't think John Wayne.
Oh, wait, was John Wayne in Stagecoach?
I think he was in Stagecoach.
I also recommend High Noon with Gary Cooper.
Now, that's a great Western.
I recommend The Quick and the Dead.
Is that Clint Eastwood?
Who's that with?
No, no, that has like Leonardo the Cap Stone.
Oh, oh, wow..
Oh, yeah, John Wayne is in stagecoach.
Yep.
I recommend one.
It's on Amazon.
It's called Deadly Strike.
Deadly Strike.
That was a really good one. a real movie?
It's an Asian Asian Western
Eastern.
That's an Easter.
Eastern.
It's an eastern western.
Well, if we're talking about like eastern, what's that?
Fuck, man.
What's that movie?
I mean, I like Hero.
If you can remember recommend something like Hero, I'm all in.
You know what I mean?
Because the Hero's.
The Grand Master by Wankar Y.
Even though I fell asleep in it when we were trying to watch it,
Brain Dead Theater, it was still like from from what I saw, that was a really great one.
Oh, yeah, we saw that together, didn't we?
The Grandmaster?
Yeah, that was that was a good movie.
There's two Hustle48.
I've seen that.
Kungu Hustle.
No way. way.
That's a great one.
Is it Grandmaster from 2013 or 48?
2013.
I guess that's the newer one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just want to say this real quick.
So, Amber, where are you?
You're from Denver, right?
But you have like an accent.
So like, where are you from like,
a different state besides Denver?
Yes, I've been in Denver for like nine years now, but
I'm from Virginia..
Like, I grew up like 30 minutes from Greensboro,
North Carolina, like, right over the Virginia line.
And then like an hour and a half from Ashland, Kentucky.
So like, I'm over there in the Appalachian Mountains.
Like Virginia Beach was six and a half hour drive.
Like, I'm not near
like, the beach.
Like, I'm up in the mountains over here.
People don't realize that.
You're like, oh, yeah, that's like a two hour drive.
I'm like, no, dude, like, I'm nowhere near that.
And then, of course, DC is completely different.
Like, that's also like four hours or I think that's probably four hours away.
And again, like, they just like, you know.
That was the area that that got affected by the hurricanes, right?
The recent ones where they had like Yeah, a little bit south of us.
That's more like Boone and Asheville and stuff like that.
That was the down in this part of South Carolina, I mean,
North Carolina, but we're kind of more like over here
Okay.
Yeah.
So I asked that because I don't I don't know how
familiar you all are with like Red Dead Redemption and things like that.
But Amber, you, and I mean this as a compliment, you
sound and look a lot like Sadie Adler from the Red Dead Redemption games.
And
I just, because of your accent, just like
how you look, if you get a chance to look her up
again, it's Sadie Adler, you kind of remind me that.
And the actually, it poses a question to like all of you guys.
Like, who who do you feel like
you would be if you were in
a Western, I guessinging you, Amber.
I would be Giovanni Rubisi, probably.
Who's that?
He He was in this movie for like second.
Was he?
I must have like slept out of this.
It was weird.
Yeah, I know.
I saw him at the end.
To be honest, this movie, I was like on my phone a lot.
Like, that's how uninteresting this movie was to me.
I like kept on having to like, oh, I should be watching this movie.
So I stopped, I put my phone down, rewind it and be like, try to watch it again.
Let's see what's on reels.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like more invested in trying to like promote our show
on Instagram with like two clip and
photos from ComicCon to be like, ah.
It just felt like a trudge like to get to this.
It was.
It was a trudge towards.
Oh, this guy, he wasn' in there, like, towards the end, right?
Yeah.
He's in the.
By the way, okay, Amro, I'll defer to you again, if that's the right word.
What did you think of that ending montage?
Because to me, I didn't get it.
I didn't get what they were trying to
do with the ending montage.
Yeah, I didn't get it either.
I need to like watch it again.
Like I was on my phone too.
You know what I feel like they're trying to accomplish with that?
They're trying to accomplish like what they' trying to do in Back to the Future Part two.
Like set up.
Oh, we're going to have some cool stuff
Like, you stay tuned for this this next chapter because it's going to be amazing.
And while, like Back to the Future 2 was successful and
bringing people to see you back to the Future Part 3, I doubt
that this film, that little montage, like helped that all, you know?
I don't care who you are.
Back to the Future Part 3 is a great Western.
Oh, Yo, I like Bex to Feature three better than two.
That's me.
I love Bex in Feature 3.
I don't care what anybody says.
The
time machine train.
Amazing.
Everything about that movie was amazing.
I love it.
And by the way, Amber, Red Dead Redemption, if you haven't I've played a good portion of it.
That's a great Western game, too.
That's a great game.
It's made by the same people that make Grand Theft Thought Auto.
Yes, it's Rockstar Games.
I love doing the bounties, like with my homeboys, like two of us on there.
It's crazy.
Oh, so you are familiar with who I'm talking about then.
Yes, but like, dude, when I just looked her up,
like, because I was thinking that she was blonde, but she actually does kind of have like an auburn hair.
She's a baddie.
I like her.
Yeah, she's a badass in that game for real.
I love I love Sadie.
She's great.
Even from the first Red Dead, like, she was pretty awesome.
But yeah.
The Western setting is so so great for any kind of storytelling, I guess.
I've never read a Western, but for movies and video games, it's fantastic.
I mean, that game has got so much texture to it.
Going back to texture to
on, what Western character.
I mean, I don't have a lot to compare to, but Doc Holiday, man, he was badass.
Oh, hell yeah.
I'll be able to Barry.
Yeah, yeah.
And that episode's available now, by the way.
I heard that.
I almost said Big Lebowski, and they're also trying to say to himself.
You could link to it Yeah, that's right.
Oh, yeah down there.
We'll link to it.
Yeah.
No, we will link to all that in the show notes.
But anyway, okay, guys.
So I think, I think we've kind of done it.
Let's do final thoughts and work with people find me.
What What are you working on?
And again, Amber, I'll start with you.
Final thoughts, social media is all that good stuff.
Okay, I give it the movie three stars just
trying to give the benefit of the doubt. if they were trying to make like it more accurate, which like
we don't really know what that was like back then.
Maybe like there's more research that was done to show that.
But it feels that like the production was rushed and
with like the timelines on Wikipedia as far as the entire
like production like duration, it does like seem like they did it pretty quick
And um that's part of the problem.
And again, like I just feel like they made like a really
long movie and they were like, dang, we can't like have this movie this long.
And so they just chopped it into four pieces, but like each
of the four pieces needs to be like a whole concept instead.
You can find me at that Denver girl underscore on Instagram
or you can follow my marketing agency, Millennial underscore
Matrix underscore media on Instagram.
Nice.
That's almost as many
Almost as many underscores as Kylem Abson.
Kyle Abson, yeah.
Anything you want to promote at all or just
follow you on there, and see what you're up to in real time?
No, I have like nothing going on right now.
Or, hey, I can say one more thing.
Can you bring me that Coke?
I decided I?
Absolutely.
A soda.
Um.
And you guys can also check me out in 303 Magazine.
I'm a staff wririter and content producer for their Food and
Booze Instagram and for their Food and Booze column.
This upcoming month
at the beginning of August, I'm going to be doing a cocktail series.
So I'm going to be at like four or five different cocktail lounges around Denver.
I know I'm doing Shea Maggie and the Cooper Lounge, but there are three more I'll be assigned.
So that would be cool too.
Nice.
I'll have to I have to go to one of those bars sometimes.
Check it out.
Cool.
Well, thanks for that, Amber.
Arnold, well, you're eating.
So Justin, final thoughts, social, what you got going on?
my friend?
Oh, you guys.
I actually had to take a break from this movie.
Honestly, I think this would have been best
digested as a miniseries or something.
Or just.
That's a lot of people are saying.
Yeah, this felt more like a miniseries than anything where you can like
have like a 30 minute to an hour episode, maybe even
just a 45 minute episode breaks in between.
That's how it felt like it was set up.
It almost felt like that they
were intending to make a series, but didn't get approvedved for it or something.
And then they were like, all right, well, we'll just make a movie out of it.
And, and coming to find out that they're going to try to make like a four-part
movie series That was pretty insane.
And honestly, Adrian, you never did bring up what
the wrench in the production was because
filming, from what I see in the Wikipedia, like
they filmed this in in August of 2022,
and then they filmed the chapter 2 in 2023.
And then it was released in the chapter one was released in
2024.
And then it looks like it's, I don't know.
According to the Wikipedia, it says September 7, 2024
is when the second part released at some point in time.
I don't know.
This whole thing is so confusing to me,
much like what is in the movie.
It's like everything is so
It's a very unorthodox way to release a movie, right?
Especially given the current times it's streaming essentially taking
over and already kind of crashing out.
Yeah.
And traditional media slowly, but surely dying.
Nobody's going to the movies anymore.
Not enough, really, anyway.
So
I don't know.
I'm just as confused as you are about that whole thing.
What were you going to say?
I kept reading that like COVID-19, like messed up everything.
And I'm like, but it was after that.
But they were like COVID-1 restrictions, like
slowed down filming and like elongated like processes.
And I'm just like, this was 2022, though.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, and this was pre-writer strike and actress strike too.
So that couldn't have been an excuse either, right?
Because it was before all the strikes.
Was it going through a lawsuit,
though, maybe at this time, and that's not what we didn't want to talk about that?
You know, I know he's had a falling out with the guy that did
Yellowstone, the creator, Ty, whatever, Ty West,
I don't know what his name is, but I don't know.
It's, I'm sure there's more there than we don't really know about, right?
Just I'm behind the scenes.
Yeah.
Well, much like the history of the making
of all of this, it's like, it's
there's a story behind it.
Like there really is.
There's a concept.
There's a lot of planning that went into this, a lot of
time and production and I'm not saying that all of it looked
really good, but some of it looked stunning, especially some of the nature shots.
Beautiful.
Like some of the shots in the show were very beautiful, very cinematic.
And then there were times where, like you guys said, it looked like
a fucking Hallmark movie at the same time.
So it's like, it feels like they went into this
make, they decided to make this movie
because it seemed like no one else was willing to
pick this script up or pick this concept up.
So Kevin Costner out of pocket, paid for this movie, decided to production.
And hey, I commend him for that.
I feel like, um, and it's like what we talked about, like on another episode.
It's like, it really feels like
a pro-Americ take on history.
Like Kevin Costner made this project because
he failed history class and he was like, you know what?
I'm actually, I'm actually correct.
So I'm going to make this fucking movie
You know, that's how it feels.
It feels, it feels slightly soulless.
It feels like, he's like, you know, I'm, it feels like
I'm going to take a stand and I'm going to bring America back type of deal.
That's what this movie feels like to me.
Yeah, I see that.
You to remember Kevin Costa the generation he's from, right?
He comes from a generation of actchers where movies are above TV.
That's how it used to be.
Now it doesn't matter.
And now it's all the same
pretty much.
And I can see that in in this film.
And it's like, I, and I get them montage
at the very end of the movie where it's like, oh, here's what's happening on the next episode.
But it's like, you can't set people up like that these days unless it's a series.
If it's a series, that makes sense.
Like Handmaid's Tale.
This is what's going to happen on the next episode.
Or they have like the pre
like this is what happened on the last episode.
Like that makes sense to me.
I'm like, okay, I know what I'm prepared for for the next episode
or the next season, whatever it is.
This seems like it was supposed to be a series that
got melded into a movie and it becomes
very inccohesive when you get to the second half
of this film.
And it is three hours.
Who do they think they are?
Fucking The Hateful Eight?
Tarantino?
Yeah.
Like, Lord of the Rs.
I don't I really don't understand the direction.
I can see
I can see that this will be a thing
that becomesomes better, but because
of the lack of cohesion makes
me not excited at all to even want to
dip my toes into the second movie because the second movie
apparently is another three hours.
And I'm so non-investing.
So after discussing it with you guys and hearing
what you all had to say, it's like at the end of the day, I'
I'm going to give it.
I was going to give it a two.
I'm not even going to lie, you guys.
I was probably going to give it less.
I'm probably going to give it a two and a half out of five.
If honestly, they turned this into
a miniseries, if they just converted it into a miniseries, I'd
probably give it a little bit better for rating because now I have somewhere to go.
But as it is right now and not knowing when
the second it's going to come out, two and a half out of five is what I'm going to give it.
I'm going to give it Barebones, middle rope.
That's a fair score.
Yeah.
Honestly.
Anyway, you can follow me, Ghost Nerd
88 for Mil Shib a Zombie, although you can still follow me as Shib a Zombie.
Ghostost Nerd's going to be like my media thing.
So just let you know, Ghost Nerd 88 Follow me
and we'll connect and do some cool shit.
I don't know.
Fuck it.
The artist formerly known as Shibbs the Zombie.
Thank you for that, Justin.
And by the way, you're on Twitch.
You stream video games on this.
I'm streaming again, yes, and I'm I'm making money from it.
Oh.
So, yeah.
It's great, it's a great thing.
So anyway, follow me on Twitch, Ghost Nerd 88s, I I play games.
Cool.
Awesome.
Thank you for that.
Alex, let's go to you next.
What are your final thoughts?
Where can people find you?
You can find me at Daily Dares on
all the socials for most of the socials.
And you can find a link to all my other
stuff that I'm involved in, including Collectible Galaxy on Depop.
I have been kind of slowing down just because I
got a new job and I've
been also busy with the past week for Comic-Con.
So Comic-Con has overtaken
my life even until this day, like still trying to post new videos
on the I've never seen a podcast Instagram,
which, man, that that post, I did not expect that.
Oh, Oh, yeah, we had a post blow up a little bit.
Do you want to talk about that?
Tease that a little bit?
Yeah, yeah.
So we, I went to
the Toxic Avenger panel for the
new upcoming reboot or remake.
I don't like seeing either one of those, but it was kind of like just
the reinvisioning of this
character, this like classic character.
And I thought it was it was a very good panel and the
the we had collabored up collaborating
with the Toxic Avenger account.
And because of that, it kind of blew up.
I think we're at like almost 300 likes on that.
That's like the most I've ever seen on any post I've ever
like created.
It's insane.
But that movie looks so good.
Yeah.
I'm excited to see it.
It's coming out the day after my birthday.
So I'm excited.
August 29th.
Nice.
Go buy your tickets now.
because I will be.
But yeah, my take on this film.
I was heavily not interested in this film.
I've never seen you disinterested, by the way, on any movie.
Like, I tried my best to
feel like I can have something to
give to this.
But like my take on this is, you know how I feel about Westerns.
You know, this I this feels so this
especially felt propagandized.
It
it's this almost revisionist history
created by Kevin Costner about it, you
know, this the Native Americans being this like,
you know, and then he's trying
to justify like, oh
but they're, you know, they don't know what's going on.
And it's it's like amb ambiguous
sort of like, nobody knows what's actually going on.
And I get it.
Nobody does.
That's the reality.
Nobody knows like, like what other people are thinking, right?
Yeah, at the same time
the way he poses it,
it's just really, it makes it look
like we've said this time and time and again in this episode.
Like
the Native Americans are these savages, which
they were not, you know, like that they were just like, like out for
blood just because they were trespassing.
And like these white like Europeans were coming into their land, right?
You know, it's like,
yeah, I get they were trying to protect their land, but is that historically correct?
I don't know.
I am not like a huge history buff.
But at the same time, that just the way they set it up in this film
just makes it feel so like,
so much like they're he's making them look like to be bad people.
They've tried to put the some beasts is like, no, they're not so bad.
But in reality, it still does.
It comes off that way.
And like, to me, it just left a very, like, maybe not interested in this more
even more..
And what even made it even more uninteresting is like, so,
have you, you guys are all familiar with Mystery Science Theater, right?
And yeah.
I don't know if you're. like, I know some of you guys
are familiar with the episode Manos Hands of Fate, correct
So Manosands of. is this like
legendary like episode where, yeah, the Manos, the Hands of Fate.
And it's like this movie that it just felt so disjointed.
And they're like, it's funny.
They're like, uh, oh, no, no, I'm not.
I'm thinking of a different movie.
It's pod people.
Pod people is a movie I'm thinking about.
That's another kind of legendary.
I don't know if you guys have seen that.
The Pod People
That episode is great when Pod people, POD.
Oh.
Yeah., not people.
Like the band Arnold.
Like POD.
PD.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was pot, like pot?
I figured that's what you were thinking, Arnold.
Yes.
It has not escaped me, you weed head.
Anyways, they,
in that movie, it feels like so many different movies all at once.
They cut to another scene.
Am I watching another movie?
It's like, what?
And that's what it felt like.
Every single time they cut to a different scene, it's like, is this part of the same movie?
And did I accidentally skip to a new movie, you know?
And like it felt so disconnected
that it made me feel like a little like that anxiousness
of like, what are they trying to get to?
What are they trying to build?
And it never like really paid off ever, you know?
You get like a film like a
Pul Fiction is a classic one where they have like different stories
They don't jump to like different movie, like different,
like scenes, but they have, you know, all
these different stories that are interconnected and they tell a
story if you like logically put it in your, like put it through the filter in your brain
and see, and you kind of see how it all connects.
Whereas this, it kind of felt like I was trying to,
it almost felt like they were going back in time and forward in time and back in time and forward in time.
And it just like, it was this constant push and pull that wasn't gratifying
you know?
It just felt like
he was trying to be like clever with the
storytelling, but it just like he was trying to be Tarantino or
in that sort of sense of like like the like
skipping through time sort of thing.
But it just didn't pay off.
It didn't like make me more invested in the film.
It just made me feel bored
you know?
Because each thing that next thing like, just made me feel bored.
It was like it didn't pay out.
Like it didn't pay off like when the girl seals
the baby, I'm like, what's this?
And then they like,
You don't see the payoff until way later, right?
And then, that girl doesn't even survive.
You know?
Like she, she ends up getting killed or you assume she gets killed.
And then the
that married girl, the prostitute was, is taking care of.
Like, what?
Where is this all in the?
And then, like when, even when Owen Wilson shows up, right?
I'm like, where the hell is this coming from?
Luke Wilson.
Yeah, Luke Wilson.
Yeah, Luke Wilson, when Luke Wilson shows up, I'm
like, what is this?
Why are we getting this?
And then I like, I immediately, I saw that and I was like, oh, go to my phone.
You know what I mean?
It was, it just
was not.
It made me not invested in wanting to see the next chapter, you know?
Yeah.
As fun as that like montage
and interesting that montage could have been, it's like, oh, action back, people punching people.
And like, cool.
But I don't care.
Like, just show me, just give me that
But in, in in a 90 minute thing
and condense this whole thing like that, I would have been like, cool, that would have been awesome.
Just show me all the action sequences, like cut up,
like that, that bullshit, romantic,
that, the payoff for that at the end.
it's like, you see her kiss the guy on the cheek and that's it.
Like we have to wait until chapter two to see like how that plays out now.
No, that wasn't it.
Remember?
They ended up making out and the end.
He slipped the tongue.
They slipped the tongue.
That was in the dreaming that you had the night after you watched the movie...
You know what's funny about that, too, is like
when I put on this put on the movie
on HBO, it has always says, like, violence, profanity.
And then it also said nudity, right?
And I was like, okay, nudity.
Nothing.
Nothing. nudity.
I didn't remember anything.
Yeah, exactly.
I was not cleavage.
I't remember..
I saw a titty.
I saw nipples.
Wait, did you?
Yeah, the part where the two guys were watching her bathe?
That's right.
I don't remember that.
It's.
I don't remember that.
I was probably, like Alex said, I was on my phone with that.
They dedicated five minutes to that whole scene, too.
Five unnecessary..
I caught it because I watched it the second time around
when I rewinded it from the time that I fell asleep.
Anyways keep it.
You had to be like, oh, what?
Wait, what?
Huh?
I couldn't that part for rewinding it it.
Wait?
Because I did not.
I was like, you know what?
I'm just going to let it ride.
Just like the horses I was I
was rewinding it just because like, oh, shoot, I should be watching this movie so I could like understand this.
And it's like, even when I reround it from
coming back from my phone, it's like, oh, it I watched it and I was like, I don't care
I really don't care.
This movie, this whole film.
Like I was just waiting for it to end.
It was like a car ride through like, like
the planes of Omaha.
I just wanted it to end.
I was like, when are we getting to?
Beautiful, right?
That sounds like experience, Alex.
Have you rode through the plains of?
I picture Alex in the Midwest?
I don't know why.
Like, when I think of Alex, I can only picture him on either coast.
Which is funny because I've datedated mostly women from the Midwest.
Oh.
That's anyways what we could do.
Anyways.
Alex, the beach guy.
Sex in the City with Alex, yeah.
I watch that I. I would watch that.
I wouldn't watch that.
With binoculars.
With the telescope, he's just like, ooh, Alex.
Maybe not.
Maybe that.
Like this.
I'd be watching it with the telescope too.
Yeah.
Wow.
Voyerism.
It's alive and well.
It's lot of guys. guys out there.
Yeah, I'm like the most action I one in a while.
I'm the guy I'm the guy with the kaleidoscope eyes.
Yeah.
At least you have some Davis eyes.
You guys, I'm about to get up and walk out of here.
I'm.
Unlike Justin, where his rating went up from a two to two and a half.
My After discussing this, mine
went from a two to a one and a half.
I
Damn!
I hate this so much movie so much.
hate.
It's like.
The boredom abides.
It's like...
You cannot make me feel invest in this.
Like, I feel like, you know, like
people, a lot of times when people write sequels to certain things,
they try to like see how they can up the ante.
Well, you failed at that already because you, he probably wrote the whole like story
from beginning to end for however many chapter this is is,
and I am not invested in catching.
And I think that might be the failure for why it won't be,
it may not be released in theaters or on streaming.
Because if you think about it, because he wrote it, there's
no room for like reshoots or anything like that
which would cost them even more money to make, this,
they're just going to cut their losses, you know?
I feel like that's more more like a feasible
thing for a studio to do than to like release the
rest of the garbage, like, what, quadrilogy, whatever this is going to be.
Sextupy.
Yeah.
You know, whatever it's going to be.
I don't know how many chapters this boring story is going to be?
Four.
According to Wikipedia, it says four.
Okay.
There are four chapters in this whole thing.
That's three, too many extra.
Like, you could put those in a garbage bin behind
a McDonald's, and I'd rather eat the chicken nuggets
out of the garbage can than watch that film the next film.
Pink stuff.
I feel like that.
After talking about it, I kind of feel like, you know how, like, instead
of like doing like the sorcerer's Stone, like, it's the first one,
but it's like actually a whole movie with a whole concept and like plot
then we have like a new concept.
I feel like they just like wrote this movie and it was like 12
hours long and they were like, let's just cut it into four.
Exactly. like, but we's exactly what I'm trying to say to the fourth one.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's like a first chapter should have a payoff.
It felt like there was no payoff whatsoever other than
maybe that military guy and the wife
gets getting together finally.
And then Kevin Cost.
I mean, I guess those are payoffs to like, they're
not even, to me, like cliffhangers where I'm like invested in.
Oh, I want to see what's next that couple.
Ooh, I want to know what's next when.
Like that Asian couple, the Asian family takes care of that baby
Like, no, I'm not.
Like, you don't even talk much about that Asian family.
It's just like, oh, he was that the baby wanted to play
with a donkey, and then that was it.
And the donkey that belonged to the Asian family.
Let's be honest, it was probably a Chinese family because it was like they're trying to be historically correct
But they don't even.
You know what the payoff is, Alex?
What was it?
It was that beautiful montage at the end.
That was the payoff.
Oh.
That was their own.
100%.
Yeah, Arnold loved that payoff that payoff.
Yeah, I love montages.
I like the montage better in Team America.
Oh, don't say that.
That was a much better.
You got a montage montage.
But yeah.
Good stuff.
Yeah, that's one and a half.
Get this fillth out of my face.
All right.
This can't be the same Kevin Costner that brought us dances with wolves, can it?
I guess it is.
I guess it is.
Oh, both.
And touch on Kevin Costner.
Boy, like he guys said, he
wrote himself into that role with just to have like sex with that girl, right?
That young.
Yeah.
And all the fucking hair dye
he must have used just to make himself look younger.
And obviously he probably wore that hat to hide any sort of balding.
Right.
You know?
This was like literally just like a kink for him.
He was like, I just want to dress up Western where you're like.
And they're like, but do you have to spend 30 million?
He's like, yeah.
And he'ss never had that gravelly voice before.
That's That's new.
That's a new rebrand for him.
Yeah, talking like this now.
Like, I'm He's like a less cringy version of Steven
Seagal, I think..
I'd say he's equally as cringey.
And this, yes.
Well..
Yeah, he's equally as cringy.
I feel like he's going to have a trip to visit. him soon.
I'd rather watch Steven Sal this.
Imagine Kevin Costner with a ponytail.
If he can, I just imagined him.
That way.
Arnold, let's go to you next.
Final thoughts, my friend.
So, you know, I'm one
of the top movie aficionados
here and, you know, experts in this whole group.
Oh, yeah.
You know, I know I know
good cinema.
I watched a ton.
I think your dog was laughing at me when he said.
Great timing.
So, yeah, no, I
totally agree with owning everything that we're talking about, how like
it was just all over the place.
Like, you know, it didn't have any balance really.
And it was disjointed, no
cohesiveness, but that didn't bother me.
And you know what I just I just had to
was thinking about it.
I'm like, hey, because I'm that way as a person in my head.
I'm all over the place.
You know, I think random things, all the the time.
And, but, and so maybe that's why it didn't really bother me.
And, but I remember
we were talking about when I before watching the
movie, I was like, wow, it's a three hour long movie.
Damn, okay.
And I had to watch it all yesterday.
which in the past, even like an hour and a half movie in
the past episode, took me two to three days.
Well, this one, I watched it,
well, I watched it all the way through, but I did fall asleep for about, what I thought was about how half an hour.
But when I rewinded, it was actually more like 15 minutes.
But I remember Alex, I think you said, don't eat anything that'll make you sleepy.
And so yesterday it
was Tuesday and of course, you know, it was taco Tuesday.
So like,
I started with three, three tacos.
And thenmade.
And then it went to four?
And then five and six?
Your homemade.
Homemade.
Yeah, it was $38 worth of tacos.
You know it was all healthy.
turned into four and then turned into five, and then I was like, okay, I know, I got to cut it there.
But then my wife, she saw that, I was drooling, so she gave me the other half.
So I had like five and a half.
But, yeah, I was still good, though.
But yeah, I guess I did get sleepy. and fell asleep.
Probably about 40 minutes into it.
And so
I really did need to, no, okay.
I was like, man, I need to rewind this because this is not making sense.
But then
after the movie was over. the movie.
Yeah.
I was like, no.
No, but actually I did.. a few things did start to
make a little sense because I was like, um, I fell asleep
on the part like after the whole camp was
like, burned down and and and the mom and Lizzie
you know, they ended up, I didn't see them get pulled out of the underground.
So I didn't know how that happened.
But then it finally connected that like, oh, she, that, that little
bit with with the colonel or lieutenant,
whatever, that they started, you
know, like, oh, maybe they're going to get together at the end.
Then I finally saw how that a little foreshadow of that.
yeah, I definitely didn't, just to reiterate,
I didn't like how they made the Native Americans, how
they made them look, you know, like they're these horrible people.
Like they're just savages and
not like not the modern day savage.
Savage..
But like, um, you know, like the other definition for savage..
Like, not or killers.
not like, What's modern day Savage?
Explain that a rap group?
Yeah, what is it?
Modern day Savage.
Who's Is that like 21 Savage?
Like, if you were to just go somewhere where.
Like if you were just to take it, take something versus being like, like, oh, may I please?
Like, damn, you're, you have to be all savage about that.
Savage.
Not Macho Man. millennial.
Savage.
Oh, now you're talking.
Dig in.
The cream of the crop.
The creamery of the cr.
Even I know that reference, and I don't even watch wrestling.
I'm living in a nightmare.
Lea into it.
That's good, Justin.
That's good, Justin.
See how my mind works?
I was already going to jump to Kevin Costner, how we were talking about earlier
Oh, and that's crazy.
I didn't know that he spent $38 million of his own money.
Of his own money, man.
He Francis Ford Coppel in it.
You know what I'm saying?
Although I don't know if he has a vineyard that he sold.
This was says megaopolis.
Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.
We'll have our, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead, Arnold.
He, uh, Oh, so, um, how he pretty much
uh, oh, yeah, how he wrote this.
And, of course, he ends up sleeping with the, with
the pretty girl in the movie.
Well, when I saw him in concert, we ended up going to this this lounge.
It's the 360 sports lounge, and they
have really good wings and really good nachos.
So like while everybody...
was leaving the show and going to their
cars, so we just took our time, you know, had a nice IPA
and had some ordered some wings there.
And then who comes walking in?
Kevin Costner.
And where is he at?
He's just a hop, skipping and jump right there.
And then who's blocking our view?
A bunch of hot girls
And then his security, they're letting get them in.
And maybe a few of his buddies that he knows.
But then, oh, but the my wife is going like this.
But then, of course, the the hot
girls are okay to hang out with him and talk with him.
And yeah, I have some pictures.
I'll have to go back and..
Like, are you always running into people we've talked about?
on the show, by the way.
That's fantastic.
Like, you know, you're like the Forrest Gump of celebrities or something don't know.
I don't know.
Who?
Who else?
I mean, I never ran into Alexis, Texas or anything..
I was going to say, Piermo del Toro at the Saturnwards.
He was on the back of his head.
Oh, right.
He sniffed his chair.
Right.
He didn't sniff his chair.
He was not me was somebody somebody else.
Somebody else sniffed his chair.
That I caught.
It was your proxy.
You told somebody else to go sniff his chair.
Yeah, just describe it for me.
What do you have for breakfast?
No, go ahead.
How beefy was his farts?
Meat and cheese.
What?
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, go ahead.
What else?
You saw Kevin Costner, a bunch of girls.
What happened next?
So didn't surprise me that he did that like, maybe
he's just he's just saying like, oh, that that's how it is in real life. naturally.
Yeah, I talk shit, but I mean, he is a big name star,
enough of a big name star, I think, to draw the attention of the ladies
you know?
Yeah, throw it down 389.
Geez.
There you go.
But yeah, I And so I
thought the so the montage
got me hyped up for the next one.
You know, I'm ready for the next one.
Um,
Actually, no, just, not really.
I, I just, I was kind of laughing at the, at the, at the montage.
Um, Oh, okay.
So my wife pulled up the picture.
There he is.
Yeah, I recognize his profile right there.
Wow.
Is that is that a Elon or is that Stephen Miller's wife next to him?
Do we know?
That's a topical reference that no one will get in a year from now.
Who's Stephen Miller?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Oh, okay.
A name that should not have been said.
Go ahead, Arnold.
But yeah, a lot of the surprise
stars that were also in the movie, you know, Mr. Wilson.
Luke or Owen or Lukeot?
Oh, Luke, Luke, sorry.
Luke.
Mr. Wilson from Dennis thes..
Arnold, yes, yeah.
That's a better reference.
Mr. Wilson.
Merle.
Castaway.
Merlele from
Walking Dead?
Yeah.
What's his name?
Michael Ricker.
Zomer, yeah.
He's got an interesting still.
I't do it, but he's, I like his voice.
He's got a great.
The accent that he had in that.
Mary Puppet Joe. Yeah.
Oh, Was it kind of European a little bit?
I thought it was.
Can I interject in this about this?
All the accents were really bad.
They were really bad.
Yeah.
Like they would be.
Yeah, they were they would drift in and out of like
like their normal accent to like the other accent.
Our mutual acquaintance, Chris Devlin told me about this.
There was like a movie, I think it was John Cusack.
John Cusack.
He was like playing this character in this like kind of Wall Street movie
And then like somebody asked me, he's like, he's on talking his normal
like accent. and then he's, this guy asked, oh, where are you from?
And then he's like, I'm from New Orleans.
Los Angeles.
All of a sudden he jumps into this New
Orleans accent for a short bit, and then he's back into his John Cusack accent.
You know, like
And that's what this movie felt like.
I want to interject as well.
I want to say The Brothers, The
Brothers, was it the John, the actor John Beavers or what's his name?
Yeah.
The actor John Beavers that plays junior.
You know, the two blonde brothers whatever.
Their accents were fucking out of everybody in the movie.
It was noticeably awful between those two.
Just about.
And also, I felt like they were so
like, so far away from
being intimidating it at all in the entire movie.
Like, the scene scenes that they had, I was like, man, not
only do they suck at at voice acting, they just suck at being their characters.
They're not intimidating.
Anyway, that's it.
That's that's my.
They seem seemed like a couple bros at a sports
bar that were just trying to be like flex on everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
They look like a couple of pretty good looking guys to me.
I mean like.
To each their own, Arnold, to each their own.
Hey, no, no, I ain't going to king shame.
Yeah.
They look like possibly like some wrestlers.
No.
Oh, he kind of looked like AJ Styles to me a little bit.
No.
Arnold don't turn he on. but okay,
his costume, it kind of looked like, all right, Western in the
front and on the back, it looked kind of like they had that.
Like a party, no An animal skin.
And I was like, what?
would you say in chap?
Assless chaps.
It looked Western in the front in the leatherdag in the back.
No, Western in the front and Game of Game of Thrones in the back.
Yeah, like with the An animal game.
That's a great title, Game of Thronesroats for.
I'm not going to get into it.
It was a slip of the tongue. of the tongue.
I didn't mean to say.
Always is. with you, Arnold.
It always is.
It always is, hey, but listen, we got to get to the part of the show that we've all been waiting for.
Arnold, which is Arnold Snoo ameter.
Arnold
give us your Z rating for this one movie since you sort of touched on that a little bit.
I have to admit, those five and a half tacos you would
think would make me sleepy, but no, not really.
Perked you up.
I think I think I just got a little bit, a little bored
I did kind of look
at my phone a bit, and I think it was just
looking at my phone that made me fall asleep.
And so with that said, I
One and a half Z's.
One and a half.
Z. That's not terrible..
Wow.
Yeah.
So not as bad as you would think.
And like I said, how the pace
and the movie, not even not so much the pace, but
the disjointedness and the
lack of cohesiveness matches my brain.
Wow.
What?
With that, with that a one and a half D rating,
I'd say I I give this a
two and a half, a solid two and a half.
And yeah, you can find me on all the social medias
at Arnie Cgo.
Find me post and stuff.
I'm going to be pulling more stuff.
I'll probably do some photo dumps of Comic Con,
video dumps of Comic-Con.
And I'm getting back.
This movie was a total dump.
I'll be.
I had a little break from my cooking because,
oh, yeah, on top of Comic-Con last week, I went through this is my my first time
going to Comic-Con with like a legit injury.
Just a little tea in my meniscus and walk into over 20,000 steps.
Every single day.
But I think, I honestly feel like like all that walking was
like physical therapy because
I'm actually, it's feeling way better
like now, even though it's just a few days, but it's feeling stronger.
And
yeah, so I' so I'm going to be getting back to work, doing some cooking this weekend.
Reminds me I need to send send a
the menu out to my clients.
And because of Comic-Con,
uh to help recuperate some of the
spending, you know, some of the stuff that I would
get or some of the free stuff that I got that I don't want to keep
You can find it on my eBay.
Recuperate some of that money.
Some of it, because I don't think I will recuperate all of it.
Nice.
So I'm going to do the same thing too.
I have like all these like street fighter
gold cards or metal cards.
Nice.
So I have more of like a Snoopy merch too.
So like I've got a snoopy hat that I want to spell.
Dop near you.
Now, Adrian.
Yes, sir.
We've all given our final thoughts and ratings.
What say you?
Well, first of all, thank you for that, Arnold.
And before I get into my final thoughts, I did Google
Kevin Costner lawsuit.
So here's what I found.
Here's my research skills at work here.
A stunt performer on the film of part two of Horizon.
De Labella filed a lawsuit, alleging
sexual harassment, and hostile work environments. on set..
He was grabbing dudes' butts and stuff.
I know, like the whole like case file.
Kevin Costner was.
Well, that's what the guy said.
Maybe he's trying to get money.
You know, you never know.
But
he's like, they were saying like he was low-key, like, gay
and he's like making passes at a bunch of dudes and like.
Interesting.
Not like, not like in a joking way then, huh?
Again, this is all, we just clarify.
Well, yeah.
This is all speculation.
I don't I don't want to get a notice in the mail tomorrow.
But
yeah, that's interesting.
I hadn't heard that.
What Google came up with said that there was, this
actor claimed that she was forced to perform an unscripted sexual assault
scene without proper consent notice or the presence
of a mandated intimacy coordinator.
So
yeah Yeah.
There's that baggage that the movie, I guess this
series is now coming with, which I don't think is going to help but get released, if I'm being honest problem.
Yeah.
So the budget was $50 million and the worldwide was $34 million.
Wow.
Wow Just letting you.
What it made was $304 million?
Worldwide, $34 million.
That's that not been made., right?
Yeah. 29 million in North America.
Other territories,5 million.
Wow.
I'm surprised that even made $29 million, to be quite honest.
Yeah.. $29 million and counting.
And I don't think they had much of a marketing budget because I saw no marketing for this movie whatsoever.
And that's always like twice the budget of the actual movies sometimes.
Yeah.
Anyway, so, okay.
So there's that, you know, not to end on a sour note, but, uh
I'm going to, uh, excuse me, I'm going to read what
I wrote for on Letterbox as my final thought.
So, wow.
This was terrible.
What a slog of a movie to get through.
It felt both long and rushed at the same time.
Thank God I have my HBO Max account link to my YouTube where I was able to watch this at 2x speed
And even then, I wanted to be scalped in order to feel something.
since this vanity project did nothing formally.
Now, normally, I'd say that it's pretty obuse to ask, who's is this movie for?
Since art doesn't need justification to exist.
But in this case, seriously, who is this movie for?
Besides Kevin Costner, of course, a guy who continues to tell self indulgence stories
where he writes himself in and has women throw themselves at him.
Who does he think he is?
Adam Sandler?
That's a callback, too.
But seriously, this movie was felt bloated,
disconnected, and I understand that there's more to be made, but for the love of all this holy, please don't.
I recognize that getting a movie made is a huge
achievement in and of itself, but I just don't get how this got picked up. and funded to begin with.
It looks like it feels cheap.
And am I crazy?
Or did I hear music that sounded a lot like Hans Zimmer's score from the Dark Knight at the end of the movie?
If there's one person who needs to rememberain in the shadows, it's not Batman.
It's Kevin Costner.
What a fart sniffer, a director, actor.
I don't, I was really harsh when I wrote this.
Please save yourself the trouble and go watch watch
True Brit or Tombstone instead.
I amaze myself sometimes at how much of a hater I am.
But you know what I was going to?
One thing I wanted to add, that this movie felt like watching.
You guys know how like back in the day, history Channel, you'd watch a documentary
and they would interperse like dramatized, you know, scenes from H Hist history.
That's what this felt like, but three hours of that.
Like, like, you know, it's always like the lowest rated
like performance is in production., that's what I was telling you friend Andre
when we were watching, I was like, this feels like the reenactments they will take us to a gym.
James be like, I'm like, what the heckck?
The Indians are bowling in or whatever.
I'm like, this is a reenactment.
Yes.
I was going to say, because I watched those and I was like, man, I should have just done that.
It would have been, I would have been fine..
There you go.
So anyway, that's my review.
I gave this movie one star on Letterbox.
By the way, you can find me on Letterbox at Boots Too
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Big thanks to Kyle Mapson, Bern Sang for intro music.
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Thank you for listening.
Thank you, Amber., for being on the show again.
We really appreciate having you here.
And yeah, that's the show.
Any final thoughts?
I I'm going to quote you, Adrian,
based on our Discord discussion.
All right.
I feel like I feel like I'm watching the first act of a very long movie.